at Grandma & Grandpa's

We just got back from spending a few days with my parents in Idaho. It would be impossible to tell you everything we did and experienced while we were there. Well, perhaps not impossible, but not necessarily interesting for you. In view of that, here are a few highlights...

...a ride with Grandpa on the "mule."

...a ride on Daddy's shoulders.

...walking hand in hand with Grandma.

...discovering a snake. Evidently a pretty scary one.

...my first experience shooting a gun. I didn't do half bad!

20 weeks (two weeks ago)

On July 15th, more than two weeks ago, Little Bean and I hit 20 weeks. That same afternoon, my 20-week ultrasound was scheduled. Jeff got to come with me, and we enjoyed a good, long peek at out little one. So, so cute!

That day was certainly an improvement to our last experience.

We are smitten, to say the least. We can hardly wait to meet this wee little person!

the girl called beautiful

Do you call your daughter (or daughters) beautiful? I find myself doing it a lot with my sweet little Elise. Lately, I've been thinking on the wisdom - or not - of those kinds of compliments. Are they fine in moderation? Do they take a girl's focus away from the kind of beauty God values? Or is it a healthy boost (especially in our society) for a girl's self-image, to be called such things?

And, she is beautiful. I mean, really. I could (possibly) be a tad biased, but I think even the most uninterested observer would admit that she is a stunner. I know: all babies are gorgeous. But this little one is mine.

Well...you know. In the sense that God has lent her to me for a season.

As much as any of my children belong to me, she's mine...and she takes my breath away.

But how often can I tell her? Is it even wise to tell her? If I call her "Beautiful" every morning when she wakes up, will she end up thinking that's her most valuable characteristic? Or, is a balance what's important: noticing her strengths, her kindness, her skills, as well as commenting when she looks especially lovely?

I don't remember hearing those "appearance" kinds of compliments as a child. Maybe they were there, maybe not. But for whatever reason, I don't have many memories of that kind of thing. And, well...maybe it would have been a good thing, you know?

You may wonder when I'll be getting to my point, but the truth is, I don't have one. I am just mulling it over, trying to figure out what's best.

And I wonder... What do you think about this subject? Do you tell your daughter that she's beautiful?

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.
-1 Peter 3:3-4

heroes

Years ago, when I would imagine my future life as a mother, I never, ever guessed that my children and I would spend so much time talking about superheroes.

Spider-Man. Batman. Ironman. Superman. And oh, so many more.

There are discussions about who has which suits to put on (we can thank video games for that aspect, I believe), who can walk in hot lava. Who can walk in toxic waste. And of course, who has the ability to fly.

We regularly cover who has which "powers," tools, and abilities.

A few years ago, construction trucks were all the rage in my home. Today, it's superheroes.

Now, heroes can come in many forms. Some wear Spandex and sport capes. Some have super-suction ears, and some are heroes because they "lend a helping hand." (Thank you, Veggie Tales!)

And heroes can be other kinds of individuals, too. A songwriter who pours out his heart with vulnerable and touching nakedness. Someone who gives selflessly of their time and possessions. One who offers to hold a baby during a church service, to give a weary young mother's arms a much-needed rest. A hero can be a person who fights for to save lives...or a friend who has fought the good fight, and is living out the few days left to her as best she can.

My hero can be the friend who listen with empathy, or the one who bravely says what I don't want to hear. And I've certainly found a hero in my husband: the funny, sensitive guy who volunteers, works, frets, and sweats for what he believes is worthwhile.

Heroes come in all shapes, sizes, and abilities. I think the key is being willing. Noticing a need. And most importantly, acting in love.

Because not every hero wears a cape.

⁸Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. ⁹Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. ¹⁰Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. ¹¹If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen. --1 Peter 4: 8-11

never the same

People will say of having children, that afterward things are never the same.

(Jeff, Benjamin, and Mindy - December 18, 2002)

When you become a parent, your life changes dramatically. Gone are the lazy Saturday mornings. Vanished is the possibility of a spontaneous (child-free) date with your spouse. You now schedule appointments, outings, and shopping excursions around your child's schedule - or possibly the financial possibility and availability of a babysitter.

People try to prepare you for the inevitable changes, but nothing they say or do can ever really communicate what it will be like. And of course, different people have different experiences. Mothers endure hormonal shifts, the baby blues, postpartum depression, difficulties with a nursing relationship, seeming to have not enough milk, having far too much milk, engorgement, colicky little ones, babies who eat near-endlessly, quick recoveries, slow and painful recoveries, grief over the birth experience, wonderful births, chubby babies, low-weight babies, sick babies, healthy babies, early sleepers, and sleepless nights that seem endless.

There are mothers with amazing support systems, and mothers who have no support at all. There are mothers with attentive, eager, active husbands, and mothers whose husbands simply don't participate in baby care. There are mothers who are bonded more closely than ever with their baby's father, and mothers whose relationship ends up suffering. There are mothers who spring back to their pre-baby weight effortlessly, and mothers who fight (desperately) for every pound closer they get to those favorite jeans.

Mother - parenting - is complex and intricate. It utilizes every resource, causes you to stretch, strengthens creativity. It changes you.

You can never look at a piece of furniture, or a kitchen knife placed too near the edge of the counter, or a pair of baby socks, in quite the same way again. Something vital and personal has changed...forever.

Becoming a parent means setting aside selfishness and your own agenda, and working for the greater good. It means loving someone else more than you love yourself.

And it's just the beginning.

(Benjamin - December 18, 2002)

Because once we hold this precious new life in our arms, life is never the same. We are never the same. Forever changed - forever learning - seeking to discover just who this little one is, and the person we are becoming because of him. It's a beautiful, trying, stretching process.

And I wouldn't trade it for the world.

¹⁷Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. -- James 1:17