"Not Me" Monday

Greetings to you on this Monday! It's time for another round of "Not me!" Monday, the blog carnival created by MckMama over at My Charming Kids. Please feel free to check out her blog, it's quite charming, itself.

While visiting our city's Art Walk on Saturday, we definitely didn't stand in line 45 minutes, just so our boys could get balloon "animals." And we certainly wouldn't do that when our two little ones were both in need of a nap, Jeff and I hadn't eaten lunch yet, it was after 2:00 PM, and we had to stand in direct sunlight, with only Elise sporting a hat. No way! That would be utter foolishness...

After a few nights of Jeff getting home late from work, I was not positively giddy at the thought of getting out of the house by myself...for a Pampered Chef party. That might be a little embarrassing. So...nope, not me!

I totally didn't leave my family to eat leftovers in my absence, while I dined on summer salad, bread served with a variety of olive oils, and strawberry trifle. Absolutely not.

Speaking of the Pampered Chef, I certainly wouldn't have taken a monetary gift given to me months ago by my husband, with the words "Go get a massage. Or a pedicure. Or whatever you want," and spent it at the party. I mean, what kind of woman would end up deciding to spend the money on kitchen gear? Really?

I am positively not addicted to the salami I've found at the farmers' market, even if it is made with 100% grass-fed beef, and is devastatingly yummy. So, I didn't buy not one, but two sticks this weekend.

It's been nearly three weeks after returning home from the beach, and Elise's suitcase is definitely not still in her bedroom, waiting to be unpacked. I am way more organized and motivated than that.

I really don't get a great deal of enjoyment out of watching Elise's birth video, and I definitely haven't watched it at least half a dozen times since her arrival. Nope, not me! And I'm not feeling at all wistful for the babymoon. I really didn't enjoy those quiet days where my primary job was nursing the baby, and people brought me water and snacks. I mean, really...who would?

"Not Me" Monday

It's Monday again, and this Monday means that I'm taking on "Not me" Monday again. For more on the fun and cathartic blog carnival, visit MckMama at her lovely blog, My Charming Kids. Now, on with our regularly scheduled program.

My daughter is s 4 1/2 months old, and I never wince when I lay her down for a nap, and she gives me a look that says "Noooooo! How could you do this to me!" I'm tough like that.

I absolutely didn't buy three new swimming suits for my boys, after having gone 7 1/2 years into motherhood without purchasing a single child's swim suit. No way! Why would I end a streak like that, even if the hand-me-downs were getting awfully raggedy?

Speaking of shopping, while standing in line to buy some new shorts at the outlet mall, I most definitely didn't find myself looking around and thinking "I'm seeing a lot of middle-aged women. Is this a store I should be shopping in? I'm only 33!"

I am absolutely not counting the days until we leave the three older children with their grandparents, and head to the beach. (Only two!)

And you can be certain that, after some trouble getting my freshly-baked loaves of bread out of their pans, I didn't serve my children something I dubbed "Open-Faced Volcano Sandwiches." And said sandwiches definitely didn't consist of hunks of bread slathered with almond butter and strawberry jam. Nope, not me!

"Not Me" Monday

Yes, keep on reading... if you didn't fall out of your chairs, that is. That's right, I'm posting a "Not me" Monday this week! Shocking, I know. It just felt like the right time. Please hop over to MckMama's blog, My Charming Kids, to continue the celebration.

As for me, I definitely didn't abandon the idea of potty training my 2-year-old, a mere 6 days after we began. Why would I? I mean, the potty is a great place to hang out, even if you're not seeing any successes. I just love the idea of a party at the potty. Don't you?

You can be sure that I didn't wait three months to clear the baby shower debris from my daughter's bedroom. And so of course, last week I did not fold up approximately 3000 gift bags, and approximately 9000 sheets of colored tissue paper. There's no way I would leave those things kicking around by her dresser so so long.

While shopping a month or so ago, there is no way I abruptly decided not to try on a pair of jeans after I'd taken them to a dressing room, just because they had a button fly. I have plenty of time to button five buttons on my jeans every time I use the bathroom. In fact, I've got nothing but time on my hands these days...

Upon beginning my most recent attempt to shuck the pregnancy weight, I absolutely wasn't astonished by the fact that my household goes through much fewer sweets when I'm not eating them. And I didn't find that fact sobering at all.

After eating out with friends, after I discovered that I'd ordered a cup of soup as well as tater tots to go with my meal, and not instead of, I definitely didn't go ahead and eat them both anyway.

And at the end of the meal, I for sure didn't put half of my dinner in a box, and then proceed to eat the rest of the tater tots on the drive home. They're not so tasty as to be that addictive! And even if they were, I absolutely would have more willpower than that.

Lastly, I positively didn't realize during the share-about-your-week time at Bible study, that the most exciting thing that I'd experienced during the past week was discover that my house had been invaded by ants. That'd be a little bit pathetic. So nope, not me!

"Not me!" Monday

Here we go again! Please check out MckMama's My Charming Kids blog for more great "Not me!" posts.

I absolutely didn't make a batch of peanut brittle last week, only to finish most of it off single-handedly. No way. I am nothing but moderate when it comes to sweets, especially while pregnant.

And I certainly couldn't care less that Jeff and I get to go to the "the house is all done, let's just look it over and make sure it's perfect" walk-through this coming Tuesday. 'Cause I'm not invested in this puppy at all.

Speaking of the house, I definitely didn't drive the boys by there after church, simply because a friend told me that the front door is (finally) painted. Especially when I knew I would be going by the next day for my weekly milk & eggs run. That would be silly: a waste of time and gas. I certainly wouldn't do such a thing on account of a door.

I'm not super excited about the new book my women's Bible study group is going to begin; I mean, Beth Moore studies are tremendously boring and lackluster. I was not both thrilled to receive my book today, and wondering how I am going to keep up with the homework when the baby arrives. (Yet I know it'll be totally worth it!)

And in the last few weeks, I have definitely not found myself at times forgetting the tiny little detail that in just a little over a month, I'll be having a baby. Nope, not me! That would be a little strange, considering my girth and all. My mind is certainly not a bit cluttered with all the events of the past weeks, and the fact of how much must be accomplished in the next 2-4 weeks doesn't make it hard for me to imagine life after Moving, at all...

"Not me!" Monday

Welcome to another Monday, which of course means another installment of "Not me" Monday. This is our chance to make our confessions, air our dirty laundry, and generally get things off our chests. Check out what MckMama over at My Charming Kids has been up to...she's the one who started all this!

I never leave a basket or two of clean, folded laundry sitting around for several days on end before I get around to putting the clothes away. Nope, not me! I am nothing if not on top of things around here. I never find myself scrambling at the end of the day, when one child or another comes to me with the words "I can't find any pajama pants," or "I don't have any clean underwear in my drawer." Absolutely not.

Jeff and I absolutely didn't go shopping for house stuff again this weekend. No way! We aren't excitedly planning for our new home at all. And I definitely wouldn't be thrilled with the shelves we bought for homeschooling supplies.

And after we didn't go shopping, we certainly didn't go eat at a place that "is kind of a sports bar," where I was amazed after Jeff counted 35 televisions positioned around the room. Because, as a decidedly non-sports fan, whatever would I be doing in a place like that?

I definitely didn't sit through the entire Sunday sermon while running a circle around my belly, hoping to entice my unborn child to get his sweet little head down. Nope. I'm not anxious about his position. At. All.

Certainly didn't miss blogging about my firstborn's birthday. I would never let two days go by before noting, in the blogosphere, the day of my child's birth. And definitely wouldn't let a little thing like a photo upload hold me back.

This year for Ben's birthday, I positively did not bow to stress, and make a cake chock-full of (and topped with) all sorts of unhealthy things. No, not me! I am always true to my principles, and I would never do something like that. Also, when shaping the cake into the Transformer Optimus Prime, I did not nibble on it so much that I gave myself a stomachache. Because I know better.

When typing Optimus Prime for the above paragraph, I for sure didn't accidentally type "Optimus Prince." That would just be totally bizarre...

"Not me!" Monday

Monday greetings to you! It's time for another edition of "Not me!" Monday, the blog carnival originated and perpetuated by MckMama over at My Charming Kids. I encourage you to hop, skip, and jump over there for a refreshing look at life and parenting.

I absolutely haven't found myself dreaming about the cruise lately. My nighttime endeavors are much more wisely chosen than that. And in the midst of this busy season, when I'm preparing for Christmas on the one hand, a Transformers birthday party on the other, and less than a mere four weeks from moving, I definitely have better things to do with my mind than re-live our seven days of luxury. For sure.

Speaking of the move, I certainly don't find packing very fulfilling work these days. I take no pleasure in the steadily growing stacks of boxes. None at all.

After a very busy Saturday, I wasn't a teensy bit relieved to learn that our Sunday church service was canceled due to icy conditions. Because I truly love our church, so I would never be relieved to be able to stay home with my family, cozy and warm, on a cold and icy day.

Subsequently, I wasn't at all thrilled that the ice eventually melted, and we were able to go visit the new house in the afternoon. Also, I didn't get completely giddy at the still-boxed appliances. So, you can be sure that I didn't kiss the dishwasher box or anything...

"Not me!" Monday

Come one, come all, to the blog carnival that just keeps on going. Week after week, Monday after Monday. And don't forget to check out the Mistress of "Not me" Monday herself, Mckmama! She's over at My Charming Kids. But I suppose you knew that.

Over the weekend, we certainly didn't buy two chairs and three bar stools, for a house that's not even finished yet. I mean, the place doesn't have doorknobs. Or toilets. So we wouldn't be worrying about things like seating just yet.

I am absolutely not nesting. It's way too early to nest. And a bit difficult at the moment.

You can be sure that I definitely did not send my midwife an email, explaining that I'm fairly certain that the baby is in a transverse lie. She doesn't need to be bothered with details like that. And I definitely didn't copy and paste various techniques I found as suggestions for encouraging the wee one to turn head down...for the purpose of asking what she thought of those techniques. What kind of an annoying client would do that?

"Not me!" Monday

The beginning of yet another week brings us to yet another Monday. And what does Monday mean, besides "Not me!" Monday? Well, a few things. But I won't be mentioning them here. Hop on over to MckMama's blog, My Charming Kids, to see what else is going on in the "Not me" department. Here goes...

I definitely don't still have a suitcase to unpack from the beginning of November. No. Way. Not me. I would never leave my kids' stuff in a suitcase, only to sometimes remove things as I got a bit behind on the laundry. I would never be such a procrastinator. Not evah.

I absolutely wasn't tickled pink to come home from shopping on Saturday with a big, beautiful lavender candle in tow. And I could not possibly care less that it's the kind that makes lovely wood-burning noises as it goes. I can certainly wait, an indefinite amount of time, to set it up next to my bathtub in the new house.

Speaking of said bathtub, I for sure didn't finally give in and try it out during our weekend visit to the new house. I haven't been curious about how roomy/crowded it would be for childbirth. Not at all.


And I would never be so foolish as to tell my oldest child that, if he did not choose to have his birthday party at Build-A-Bear, he could invite as many guests as he wanted. Who would make that kind of rash statement to an almost 7-year-old? But if I had said such a thing, I would certainly live to regret it.

After helping myself to a slice of fresh Spiced Pumpkin Bread the other night, I definitely didn't lick the buttery crumbs right off of the cutting board. Nope, not me! That would be so very undignified.

Speaking of undignified, I certainly am not about to throw the towel at any and all maternity pants. Because it's cold, and I need pants. But, still...ugh.

"Not me!" Monday

Hey, all! It's time for another edition of "Not me" Monday, the carnival blog created by the spirited MckMama at My Charming Kids. Enjoy!

I absolutely didn't sit all three of my boys down to watch "Sid the Science Kid" on PBS, in lieu of doing science on that particular day. I mean, I would never substitute television viewing for school! Even if the show does have "science" in the title...

When I need something from my chest freezer, I definitely don't need to move at least five hefty objects off of it. I would never live in such a way that would make it necessary to move a box of up to six empty half-gallon milk jars, a bag of apples, a bag of sweet potatoes, a heavy cookbook, and not one, but two big ol' squash. And if I did, I wouldn't tend to find myself muttering about it, pretty much every time.

I would never be nearly giddy because, on our "shopping date," Jeff and I picked up a brand new vacuum. That would be a little sad, I think. Even if our old, 10+ year-old one had gotten very, very annoying.

Along those lines, I would certainly not be greatly amused at hearing my boys argue over who gets to vacuum next. Arguing is never amusing!

"Not me!" Monday

Greetings to you on this November Monday! I'm happy to announce that "Not me" Monday is back...and even happier to share that MckMama's darling son Stellan is home recovering from his surgery, and doing gloriously. There's an honest-to-goodness miracle there; it's nothing short of amazing. Hop on over to MckMama's blog, My Charming Kids, for the story, as well as a great many more "Not me" festivities.

As for me, I definitely didn't find myself in way over my head when I took my two older boys shopping for a friend's birthday present. The interests and needs of an 8-year-old girl do not baffle me in the least. I mean, I was a girl once. Not that long ago. So of course choosing this gift was a piece of cake.

And I absolutely didn't attend a wonderful marriage conference with my husband, and then forget to blog about it. No way. But I'm sure it was a helpful aid for the week following said marriage conference, since I've hardly seen him for an hour a day since then...

I definitely haven't already asked my midwife for the list of needed "birth kit" items. Because I am not in the least interested in having things lined up, and squirreled away. I've never been a person who cares about having all my ducks in a row.

Speaking of birthy stuff, I for sure didn't try on the blank tank I use to labor in, just to see whether or not my back looks fat in it yet. I would never be so vain.

Upon acquiring the newest Steven Curtis Chapman CD, "Beauty Will Rise," I certainly didn't cry all the way through the first time I listened to it. No way. I am not touched at all by what his family has gone through, and music never moves me to tears. Especially not honest, beautiful, poignant instrumentals and lyrics. Nope, not me!

And when the 4-year-old in my home hurt my feelings the other day, I certainly didn't eventually retreat to the bathroom, locking the door, to cry. I mean, as a grown woman, I am always in full possession of my emotions, as well as my hormones. I am never, as a friend of mine put it, "hormotional." And especially not at the hand of a preschooler....

no "Not me"-ing

I just thought I'd stop by and say, officially, that there will be no "Not me!" Monday post for today. As you may recall, MckMama, the lovely creator of "Not me!"-ing, has a young son with a heart condition. Stellan has been back in the hospital for the past few days. As a result, I'm not posting anything for "Not me!" Monday today; it just doesn't feel right.

If you feel led, please keep Stellan and his family in your prayers. He's holding his own, but he has some big stuff coming up.

"Not me!" Monday

You know it. Another Monday, another bout of "Not me!" It is, of course, the fun and cathartic blog carnival invented by MckMama over at My Charming Kids. Check out her blog! She's pretty charming, too.

There is no way that I was a teensy bit relieved that we didn't have Friday School last week. Nope, not me! I never feel that it's a challenge to get my brood out of the house by 8:45 AM, and I am never thrilled to not have to go out in the rain.

I certainly don't have to suppress a giggle every time I see Kyle in his Eeyore costume. And I find nothing humorous about Eeyore doing math.


Nothing at all.

On our way to the pumpkin patch on a dreary Sunday afternoon, we absolutely were able to resist stopping by the house. And if we had, we would have been impervious to the charms of newly-hung drywall.


And if we had stopped by the house, and were so pressed for time, I certainly wouldn't have gone over to meet a future neighbor who came outside for a moment. Even if she is pregnant. With triplets. Who will almost certainly be born within a month or so. And I'm sure we wouldn't have had a lovely conversation...

And I definitely didn't discover that I had an actual pout on my face on Friday, after learning that a friend of mine was going out for pizza...while I was home cooking chicken soup - which didn't appeal to me at all just then. But if I did, I would've laughed at myself immediately!

"Not me!" Monday

Greetings, everyone! It's Monday, and you know what that means. Well, what it usually means. Sometimes it doesn't end up meaning that. But this week, it does. That's right, it's "Not me!" Monday, the confessional blog carnival of MckMama's. Head on over to her blog, My Charming Kids, for some refreshing honesty today...and every day.

When my 19-month-old comes to me with the message "Poo-py," I absolutely never respond with an "Okay, Owen...go tell Daddy!" Nope, not me!

I am certainly not immeasurably relieved that beginning our homeschooling year has resulted in far less Benjamin/Kyle fighting. Because kids are kids. A little bickering would never drive me to near distraction...

While discussing our week of doing school with another mom on Friday, definitely did not refer to my 19-month-old as having "been a pill" during school time. No way. He's always utterly charming...and even if he weren't, I would never use such a word to refer to my child.

I definitely haven't been putting off making both Owen's 18-month-old, and Kyle's 4-year-old well-child appointments with the pediatrician. The thought of a Vaccine Discussion never fills me with dread, nor am I actively avoiding the potentially germy waiting room during cold and flu season. In fact, I am not considering bailing on the pedi altogether, and heading straight for a naturopath.

Along the same lines, I am not again behind on writing thank-you notes. No way, not me! I definitely do not have a good dozen thank-yous to write, but which I am putting off because I despise writing thank-you notes. You can never find me procrastinating.

You can also never find me daydreaming about the New House. I am firmly planted in this cramped apartment, and you can be assured that I am blooming furiously. I absolutely never walk around muttering, "I hate this place..."

I am not completely heartbroken that my maternity sweaters are still missing in action. The fact that there's a definite chill (and sometimes bite) in the air here certainly doesn't make me long for my roomy, cozy sweaters. Their absence doesn't bother me at all.

Lastly, I was not utterly thrilled to hear the welcome news that my very first nephew was born on Tuesday! I am not the least bit excited to welcome baby Miles to the world, and I definitely am not hoping that I can meet him in the not-too-distant future.
(He is completely adorable, though! I cannot tell a lie.)

"Not me!" Monday

Here we go again! After a little vacation-induced break, "Not me" Monday is back. "Not me" Monday is, of course, the gorgeous blog carnival hosted by MckMama over at My Charming Kids. Hop on over to her place for more Monday not me-ing!

A week after returning home from my relaxing cruise vacation, I definitely didn't feel the need to flee the apartment, solo, on Sunday afternoon. Surely the after-effects of such a luxurious vacation are further-reaching than a week? And anyway, I would definitely not have found solace in shopping for little boys' socks and underwear, all by my lonesome. I mean...really!

But if I had fled the apartment that afternoon, I would certainly have left a good selection of snacks behind. I absolutely wouldn't have suggested that my husband feed one of the children sardines for his snack. What kind of mother would do that? Even if she has one particular child who loves sardines?!

I certainly didn't secretly snicker when I recently heard my 4-year-old singing "O Come, let us ignore Him," to the tune of a cherished Christmas hymn. I mean, that's just terrible.

While using our brand-spanking-new Wii Fit, I for sure didn't doubt that I was getting much of a work out, only to find myself with desperately sore thighs the next day. I absolutely don't groan every time I lower myself onto a chair, the floor, or the toilet. No way!

As a homeschooling mom with a good 7 months of experience under her belt, I am not at all nervous about starting out school year this week. Nope, not me! I have no doubt that I will easily be able to instill in my children a love of learning, an awe of God's creation, and a downright enthusiasm for math. And I'm not at all hoping that having more organized activities for my boys will quell their recently incessant fighting.

I totally did not decide that it was time to make another batch of chicken stock, only after realizing that I had accumulated quite an impressive collection of frozen chicken carcasses. It would be silly to collect the remains of so much roasted poultry without making stock at more, er...reasonable intervals.

And despite the fact that my maternity sweaters have tragically gone MIA, I certainly didn't go sweater shopping this weekend. Even if there is a definite nip in the air. I'm always perfectly happy to wear a t-shirt. Or my husband's sweatshirt. Or, you know, a plastic garbage bag. Whatever.

"Not me!" Monday

Welcome to another edition of "Not me" Monday, the fun and cathartic blog carnival created by the one and only MckMama. Hop on over to her blog, My Charming Kids, for gorgeous photos and a refreshingly honest take on life. Oh yeah, and more "Not me" Monday confessions.

For reasons which I will disclose soon, you ought not to expect a "Not me" post from me for the next few weeks. Unless I'm feeling really motivated, that is.

I absolutely do not look forward to my birthday each and every year, and I certainly would never dream of blogging about it Because my dear bloggy readers do not need to know anything about my birthday...I mean, why would they?

Speaking of my birthday, I definitely did not go shopping not once, not twice, but three times during that 24-hour period. I care nothing for shopping, particularly without children, and I certainly never feel the burn of birthday money in my pocket...

Jeff and I totally didn't visit the lot (house!) twice this weekend. We're so not excited that the upstairs is assembled - and it wasn't at all thrilling to walk around in the bedrooms, laundry room, and common area up there.

When Jeff was gone for a meeting Sunday evening, and the boys were installed in their beds, I absolutely didn't settle down on the couch with a small bowl of ice cream to watch the Emmy's. Because, I mean, I had already had my "one sweet a day" at lunchtime, and besides, I care nothing for awards shows...they're for sure not a guilty pleasure of mine...

...And I am clearly not gearing up to blog about something that's a big deal for Jeff and I. But if I were, I would totally not leave my readers hanging until I manage to get around to it. Nope, not me!

"Not me!" Monday

Welcome to "Not me" Monday, the blog carnival where you can share your garbage, yet the points don't matter. This is MckMama's creation - hop on over to her blog, My Charming Kids, for a delightful read.

While without a vehicle this week, I was not too chicken to take the boys to the playground at the apartment complex. I did not think through an entire scenario involving broken limbs, coupled with an inability to drive to get medical attention, and instead opt to stay holed up in our apartment. That would be utterly paranoid, and brand me a total worrywart. So...nope, not me!

Speaking of vehicles, our van is definitely not still dumping steering fluid, right and left. No way! We would certainly have had it repaired by now, regardless of the fact that Jeff's "drive the train station and back" car is refusing to run.

After Jeff's parents were gracious enough to offer their Honda Pilot for our drive to Idaho (and back), I did not breathe a huge sigh of relief when we returned it to them, a week later, with neither damage nor theft inflicted upon it. Absolutely not! I don't still carry any "what's next" feeling with me, and I would certainly not worry while using someone else's (nice!) vehicle. Not me!

When Jeff and I read through the guidelines and tips for an exciting upcoming vacation, I did not immediately begin to think "I need new clothes!" I'm sure I have plenty to wear, and I have no hankering for fun new duds to sport around the deck. That sort of thing wouldn't matter to me at all.

So I definitely didn't spend a bit of money today while shopping the sales racks at my local maternity store. Nope, not me!

A day or so after discussing an upcoming midwife visit, and the sonogram which I hope to schedule within the next two weeks, I was certainly not at a complete loss when Kyle began to speak of wanting to hear the "vulture noise." I am highly intuitive when it comes to my children, and I knew instantly that he was referring to the ultrasound.

And I don't find it utterly breathtaking when the boys kiss my belly and say sweetly "Good night, Little Bit. I love you!" Nope. Not at all.

"Not me!" Monday

Here' we are, at the start of another week, which brings us (usually) to "Not me!"Monday, the cathartic blog carnival started by the one and only MckMama. MckMama is not doing a "Not me!" post today at My Charming Kids, but I encourage you to hop over there all the same. Her blog is a delight to the eye and to the spirit.

I thought I'd let you know that you should not expect a "Not me!" post from me next Monday, on Labor Day. We will be out of state visiting family, and well...I just don't see it happening. I'm sure you'll all survive somehow.

I absolutely was not deep in a phone conversation last week, when, deciding I should look into Owen's whereabouts, found him standing on the top bunk of his brothers' beds. Nope, not me! I supervise my child much better than that.

So of course I would never discover him trying to put an "As Time Goes By" DVD into his brothers' CD player.

Likewise, I never allow it to possible that he would play in the toilet water. A tender 17-month-old instinctively understands that toilet water is icky. Therefore, I always make sure that all bathroom doors are shut tight...or lacking that, that there is a cinder block resting atop the lid. I keep that room like Fort Knox. Owen never comes to me holding out wet fingertips, voicing something akin to "whazzis?"

While my husband was gone last weekend, I definitely did not decide to wiggle my pregnant self, snake-like, under Kyle's bed. I would never be so desperate to be reunited with my favorite books. No way! Not me! It would be totally undignified to perform an act like that, and a pregnant women is, above all things, dignified. At all times. Especially during the transition stage of labor.

And last of all, I absolutely did not work myself into such a state of expectant anticipation of popcorn and an epic movie the other night, that I nearly cried when my 3-year-old came out of his bedroom with the announcement that he had a problem of a rather...personal nature. Definitely not. I am never fazed by interruptions, and my children's bathroom incidents always trump a silly old film. Even if it does involve popcorn.

What about you? What have you not been doing this week?

"Not me" Monday

This Monday brings us an installment of "Not my" Monday, a blog carnival hosted by MckMama over at My Charming Kids. Check out her site...it never disappoints.

During the weekend of The Move, I absolutely did not fall off the nourishing food wagon. I was not tempted in the least by the 3 large pizzas we ordered to feed our work crew. Nor did I hear the ice cream calling to me that came along with the meal graciously brought to us by a family from church one night, OR the plate of cookies which arrived with the second meal on Saturday night. Nope, not me! I am never tempted by the kinds of foods I used to thoughtlessly eat. Nope, not me!

Along those lines, I definitely didn't suffer many physical symptoms for days afterward, causing me to repent and quickly climb back on said nourishing food wagon. Begone, white flour and white sugar!

While cleaning out a bathtub in the empty house, I for sure didn't make myself cry by singing "If These Walls Could Speak" and thinking about all that had gone on in that bathroom. Because there is nothing nostalgic about potty training, nor any other bathroom activities.

Last week Jeff and I absolutely did not accidentally leave our van unlocked one evening, after arriving home late from Bible study. We certainly weren't so intent on getting the boys into the apartment and to bed that we forgot to secure our most important family vehicle. Consequently, the next morning, I definitely didn't find that our car stereo (CD player) had been stolen out from under our noses. No way! We would never have even one oversight, resulting in such a sad loss. And we definitely wouldn't have left our camera in the van too, which had photos from our last family visit to the old house, to say goodbye... Things like us never happen to us. Especially not during that week.

I am so not going to miss having a car stereo during our upcoming 9-hour drive to Idaho. Because I rarely listen to music while on the road...

Over the weekend, I certainly did not spend nearly $60 on a cleverly-designed t-shirt and maternity pajamas. No way, not me! I mean, why pay $37 on pajamas when I can just as easily sleep in my husband's shirt? I have not always wanted to buy some, but either way I definitely wouldn't have succumbed while in my 5th pregnancy. No. Way.

Speaking of my older children (sort of), I absolutely do not continuously implore a certain one of my children to "please, please keep your voice down." I care nothing for what my apartment building-mates think of me, my family, and boys specifically. So what if they believe that a band of hooligans has moved in? Let kids be kids!

I am totally not sneezing my head off today. But if I were, I'd blame the White Flour lapse...

"Not me!" Monday

Another Monday brings us to another week of "Not me" Monday, the confessional blog carnival created and perpetuated by the charming MckMama over at My Charming Kids. Hop on over to her blog and join in on the fun!

I certainly was not volunteering to help with Vacation Bible School a few weeks ago, so that my underage Kyle could attend. It would've been clearly lunacy when we were planning to be moving at the end of said week. I would never agree to something that would take me away from home during a few quiet evenings when I could be spending that time packing minus the interruptions... But if I had, I would be really glad in hindsight for deciding to help, after all!

Awhile back, I definitely didn't wash a load of diapers, not so much because the diapers needed to be washed, as because Owen is plowing through our cloth wipes so quickly that I needed more clean wipes. Not me! I would never do that.

Speaking of diaper changes which require wipes (read: poopy diapers), after a failed attempt to find and purchase flushable diaper liners locally, I absolutely didn't intentionally buy refills for "g diapers," in spite of owning no g diapers whatsoever. I am definitely not so desperate for some way to cut back on the amount of toddler bowel movements with which I cope on a daily basis. And if I was, then I certainly could've been patient for just one more week. I mean, really. Those are expensive!

Obviously, I am not at all interested in pampering any delicate pregnant sensibilities.

Totally didn't get misty watching the VeggieTales video "The Ballad of Little Joe" with my children. Because, how can veggies drive home the beautiful truth of "you intended it for harm, but God intended it for good"? They're....green and crisp, mostly.

I absolutely didn't make a complete mess of my kitchen one night, making Wardeh's delightful Chocolate Kefir Smoothie, because I decided not to halve it, and it was way too much for my food processor to handle. And I did not plow on, even when chocolate smoothie was oozing from every crevice of the food processor, creating something of a cocoa-colored lake on my counter. My 6-year-old did not walk by and comment, "Wow, that is really messy!"

I am, after all, a model housewife.

Lastly, I am not utterly thrilled that in spite of eating my fair share of butter, beef, coconut oil, eggs, pizza, ice cream, and cookies, I have not gained one pound since I became pregnant. I care nothing for what the scale says, and I am not even a little bit curious to see how my weight gain during this pregnancy differs from the previous pregnancies. I could not care one teensy bit. Nope, not me!

"Not my child" Monday

Today? Is a special day. In a fun mix-up of our regularly scheduled "Not me!" Monday events, today is a "Not my child" Monday. You can find many more wonderful examples of some of the "Not me-ing" at My Charming Kids, which is MckMama's charming blog. So let's give it a whirl, shall we?

My 3-year-old (whom we lovingly describe as "irrepressible") did not leave his table-setting duties for a moment in order to dash into the room where his older brother was to announce "Ben! We're having raisin cookies at dinner!!!" There may have been some freshly-baked scones on the table, but Kyle would never abandon his job in a moment of excitement. Not my child!

Owen is an utterly charming 16-month-old. I've always referred to him as my "balm," so there is no way that he is starting to throw fits. Absolutely not! Even when he doesn't get his way, he does not flop himself onto the floor, look angsty for a moment, and then, if he doesn't receive a response, gingerly lower himself onto his back. He's certainly never resorted to rolling around the floor in a stunning display of toddler anguish. Definitely not...

My two older children did not join forces to produce and act out "Jungle Book" the other night after dinner. And if they had, there would not have been a clear Director, who repeatedly told me that it wasn't time for my line yet as Bagheera. They're not particularly fond of that movie at all, and they don't especially love acting like the monkeys. Uh UH! Not my boys!

What have your children not been doing?