a penny for your thoughts

Maya Angelou is credited with saying, "If, someone shows you who they are, believe them."

While I don't necessarily consider Maya Angelou a spiritual giant, something about this statement resonates with me. Possibly it's because I endured a betrayal this year, by someone I had formerly considered a friend. But at the risk of sounding blithe, what would Jesus say?

Is this attitude wise? Prudent? Discerning?

Or does it fail to allow for God's grace? Heaven knows we all need it.

As far as forgiveness goes, there's no doubt in my mind about that. Forgiveness is always, always God's will. But at what point is it appropriate to end a relationship? To say, "This person clearly isn't trustworthy. S/he is dangerous to my emotional health."

I don't have any answers here; I'm still trying to figure this out in my own mind. So, what do you have to say about it? I covet your thoughts, truly.

homemaking

"From the very beginning, God made it clear: Home is holy ground. Your home is holy ground. And it's your privilege and your responsibility, even amid the messes and confusion of daily life, not only to take off your shoes, but to tend to the holy flame. As a human being in whom God's spirit dwells, you have that privilege. As a woman and as a mother, you have a special set of gifts and responsibilities. You are called to create and maintain a home environment and atmosphere that reflects God's love, God's hope, God's peace - quite literally to build your home on holy ground."

-Donna Otto

meant to be

What were we intended for? How did God intend us to thrive? To be nourished?

Let's look at an example that's dear to my heart: grass and cows. I've mentioned on the blog that we drink raw milk from cows raised on grass, and that the past couple of years, we've purchased a fair amount of grass-finished beef from a local rancher. Here are a few of the reasons why we seek out such a resource:

When animals are 100% grass-fed, their meat is not only lower in saturated fats but also slightly higher in omega-3 fatty acids, the healthy fats found in salmon and flaxseed, which studies indicate may help prevent heart disease and bolster the immune system. Ground beef and milk from grass-finished cattle also have more conjugated linoleic acid (CLA), which recent data suggest may help prevent breast cancer, diabetes and other ailments. Moreover, grass-finished meat is higher than grain-finished meat in vitamin A and vitamin E, two antioxidants thought to boost resistance to disease.
source
(Time Magazine)

In fact, eating grass is far better for the animals, too. In their book Nourishing Traditions, Sally Fallon and Dr. Mary Enig write that commercially-raised cattle are "treated with antibiotics to stave off infections that inevitably result from poor diet and crowded conditions." (emphasis mine) According Union of Concerned Scientists, "a change from grain-based feedlots back to a purely pasture-based system "would be better for the environment, animals and humans." (source) Cows were intended to eat grass.*

Enough about the cows. What about people? What is intended to nourish our spirits? St. Augustine is credited with saying “God, you have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless till they find their rest in you.” I believe this to be true. We seek endlessly to fill a deep longing, and when we try to fill it with anything other than God, we will never be satisfied.

A dear friend recently made a connection I'd never considered before. It comes from Revelation 3:20 - a well-known Scripture. Here are the words of Jesus: "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." This verse is often quoted as a gesture of Christ's invitation to the unbeliever, yet in context these words are said to his followers (in the church in Laodicea).

And here's the thing - what if Jesus isn't talking about sharing a meal here? What if He is extending an invitation to find our true nourishment in Him? To partake of living water (John 7:38) , the Bread of Life (John 6:35). What if we stopped running after other things, and answered the call for a deeper relationship?

The Bible tells us that God "set eternity in the hearts of men" (Ecclesiastes 3:11). He made us to want Him, to need Him. That's what we were created for.

I forget that sometimes. I get busy, I get distracted. I try to fill that God-shaped hole with things like family, food, TV, the Internet. Sometimes I even invent things to keep me more busy than usual, because I don't take the time to stop and realize that for which my spirit is really hungering.

Maybe we're meant to be "grazing" on Him. Continually coming to Him to fill us up. Because it's the only way to find what we need to be healthy, effective, and strong. Only in Him will we thrive. We were made for this, meant for this.

And because of that, nothing else will truly satisfy.

*If you'd like to learn more about grass-fed cows, check out Eat Wild.

Psalm 121

A song of ascents.

¹ I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

² My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

³ He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

⁴ indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

⁵ The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

⁶ the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

⁷ The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

⁸ the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

taking offense: part 1

Offense is something that's been on my mind a lot lately. What should we do when we are the ones who have been offended by fellow believers? Is it ever appropriate to show our displeasure, or does it pretty much always lead to discord? And what are our responsibilities as far as striving to not offend other people?

As a Christian, I try to use the Bible as my guide. I say "try" because I don't always seek it out as often as I should. I tend to stew. I sometimes mutter, and I write - because I often find it's easier for me to work things out through the written word.

When I've been offended, it seems that it would be natural for me to express my unhappiness about it. After all, shouldn't we be able to get things off our chests, to be honest about it? In an ideal world, perhaps. If we could lay down our defenses, our rights, our feelings of entitlement. If we could have pure motives, and always assume positive intent.

But we're not in a perfect world. And it's painfully obvious at times. So I went digging. Here are a few verses I found in my NIV:

A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.
-Proverbs 19:11

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. -Romans 12:18

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. -Colossians 3:15

Gulp. Really? Do I have to? Must my first response be denying my own rights, roll over and play dead...become the proverbial doormat?

Consider Jesus' words:

For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted. - Luke 14:10-12

Humility. Sometimes it rankles. Certainly it rankles. But let's also consider Jesus' example:

⁵Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
⁶Who, being in very nature^a]">[a] God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
⁷but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature^b]">[b] of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
⁸And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
-Philippians 2:5-8

When we consider how the very Son of God chose to humble himself (for us, the worst of sinners), it sheds a new light on the subject. And He is known as the Prince of Peace. The verses preceding that last passage say this:

³Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. ⁴Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. - Philippians 2:3-4 (emphasis mine)

So how do we find that balance? How do we establish healthy boundaries, protect ourselves from unhealthy relationsohips...and yet strive for peace in our interactions with others? Is it really possible to have those boundaries without seeming to invite discord?

I am still really wrestling with that. In the meantime, here is more food for thought:

The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. -Psalm 103:8

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. - Prov. 15:1

A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control. -Prov. 29:11

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry... - James 1:19

So I suppose what it boils down to is really trying to assume positive intent. I must remind myself that there are (at least) two sides to every story, and that maybe, if we can assume that the person who has offended us meant well, it really can work out peaceably. It seems that if we want to be godly, Christlike people, we really do need to learn to turn the other cheek when we've been slighted.

I'll close with a paraphrase of something I heard Beth Moore say recently, on a DVD. She said something to the effect of "The Enemy is the author of every offense." This statement really struck a chord with me. If we can remember that the Lord's desire is for believers to enjoy peace and unity, we would do well to beware that the Enemy's goal is for the exact opposite.

Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. - Romans 14:19

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this subject. I'm really just mulling over this stuff, trying to find some answers to questions that have come up lately. So...what do you think?


In "taking offense: part 2," I'll take on the challenging subject of how we might share our opinions without offending anyone, or whether it's even possible. Stay tuned to see if I've wrestled any answers out of all my questions!

counting blessings

This has been a really hard week.

The reality has hit, that our house is really back on the market. We're largely at the mercy of who wants to come see the house, and when. Thankfully, at this point we haven't had to leave at any very inconvenient (read: Nap!) times. Still, it's an emotional roller coaster.

Then, on Wednesday we learned that the house we'd planned to buy has a sale pending. And it seems like it hurts more than it should. Here's the thing: we had decided to make a commitment to this house. We'd examined it, resolved that it would work well for us, invested in it. We paid for an appraisal and two inspections. We took the boys to choose bedrooms, spent hours arranging furniture in our minds.

At the risk of offending (forgive me if that's you, please), I feel a bit like a jilted bride. I was ready to make a commitment, to build a home in this place, to take this thing on for years and years to come. So, knowing that that dream has gone up in smoke, without so much as a "by your leave," smarts. A lot.

We're so blessed to be in this position; we don't have to sell, we just want to. We're looking to "move up," and it's great that we're able to do that. And it's a great time to sell, if you happen to find a buyer who can get a good loan.

So although we've been feeling really sad this week, putting away our hopes and dreams for the present...I'm going to count my blessings.

¹⁶Be joyful always; ¹⁷pray continually; ¹⁸give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. -- 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

I'm thankful for...

• a healthy family
• beautiful, enthusiastic children
• a place to live
• a patient, loving, and fun husband
• Jeff's job
• the fact that both my parents and Jeff's parents are still married and in love
• watching Owen toddle
• Kyle's zest for life
  
• Ben's growing more accomplished in his reading
• the ability to buy and prepare whole foods for my family
• having a budget (yes, really)
• my church
• the friendships that have blossomed in my life
• the ever-present, undeserved love of Christ Jesus

I could go on, but I'll stop there. My goal is to keep my eyes on God's grace, press on, and remember that "all I have in [Him] is more than enough." (from the song "Enough" by Chris Tomlin)

being known

I've been reading the Chronicles of Narnia lately, by C.S. Lewis. Oh yes, I'd read them as a child, and then again as a young adult. But it seems as though every time I read that series, I walk away with more meaning.

Things like sacrifice, sin, trust, faith. I suppose I must have caught some of this when I read it before. Certainly I understood that Aslan represented Christ, and his sacrifice paid for Edmund's sins. But the older I get, the longer I walk with God, the more detail I'm picking up on. These books are rich.

At present I'm finishing up "The Magician's Nephew." A little explanation of context is in order, I think. This book is the telling of the origin of Narnia: how it was created by Aslan, and how he gave the gift of speech to the animals there. The novel is told in the third person, but from the perspective of a two children named Digory and Polly. Before arriving in Narnia, these two found themselves in another world, a world which was dying, and while they were there Digory awakened a witch from a certain enchantment. The Witch, an evil creature, traveled back to London with them, and ultimately, to Narnia.

The thing that really struck me yesterday was a conversation between the boy, Digory, and the Lion, Aslan. The boy is explaining how the Witch came to be in Narnia. Aslan questions Digory... but Aslan knows. And as the boy tries to explain things, it becomes more and more clear that Aslan sees through his excuses, and his blaming of others, and the spin he tries to put on it. It is Digory's fault, and as he admits the truth, he is ashamed. The Lion already understood the situation completely: what happened as well as each individual's heart.

And it's so true. We are known, fully and completely. Beyond our rationalizations. Beyond our excuses. Beyond the blame we cast-- on others or on ourselves. God knows our motives, understands our history, and sees us, utterly. He sees our delusions, our pride, and the many emotions which can cast us adrift, tossed without an anchor.

³ The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold,
but the LORD tests the heart.

Proverbs 17:3

We can try to explain our actions. We can be fully convinced that we know why we do what we do. We can be certain that we are in the right.

But the Lord knows the heart.

²³ Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139:23-24

May my words, actions, and thoughts truly please the One who knows me completely, both inside and out. He understands me better than I understand myself.