Friday, November 26, 2010

a penny for your thoughts

Maya Angelou is credited with saying, "If, someone shows you who they are, believe them."

While I don't necessarily consider Maya Angelou a spiritual giant, something about this statement resonates with me. Possibly it's because I endured a betrayal this year, by someone I had formerly considered a friend. But at the risk of sounding blithe, what would Jesus say?

Is this attitude wise? Prudent? Discerning?

Or does it fail to allow for God's grace? Heaven knows we all need it.

As far as forgiveness goes, there's no doubt in my mind about that. Forgiveness is always, always God's will. But at what point is it appropriate to end a relationship? To say, "This person clearly isn't trustworthy. S/he is dangerous to my emotional health."

I don't have any answers here; I'm still trying to figure this out in my own mind. So, what do you have to say about it? I covet your thoughts, truly.


Kristee said...

I know the sound of betrayal and the questioning of people's words and motives and very character all too well myself. And the flesh in me has wanted to never trust again but it's Christ in me who says different. He's said to consider others better than myself and forgive 70 times 7 times and to let vengeance be His. So, I do. And when someone shows me who they are I see into their heart instead of into their words and I try to see them the way Jesus does...worth dying for. People do have faults and they do lie and they do manipulate and take advantage but I'm called to love them anyone. And as far as trusting them, I do this without letting go of my heart completely because Jesus said to guard my heart. So, sometimes when I find out later that there is more to a persons intent than I knew before I hold my heart a little closer to me until it's safe to show them again. Sometimes that safety never returns. But, I do believe in the old "innocent until proven guilty" philosophy and then believing the best about someone even when you find out they aren't who they said or think they are. It's what I'd ask others to hold me to.

Sarah, Nathen, Aiden, and Evan said...

I agree with Kristee and also think that you can forgive and love someone with out having a relationship with them. I have done this with my grandmother. I pray for her, love her, but can not have a relationship with her for the way she's hurt my parents and other loved ones. I've also redefined my relationships with some friends, to protect myself from being hurt. A Bible study I did a few years ago had something about how some friends are for a season and that is okay. I pray that you find peace regarding this:)

Mindy said...

Thanks, girls. I really appreciate your input!

Jodi said...

I was betrayed by a friend a couple years ago, which resulted in a loss of trust. I actually went to a counselor to discuss how I should handle the relationship with wisdom. The biggest thing she helped me see was that the relationship didn't have a future anymore. It was true, and helped me understand why it was okay to instead invest my time in relationships that DO have a future. I think we need to always extend as much grace to others as Christ does to us, which of course we will always fall short of! I can let go of the things this person said and did, I can choose not to dwell there anymore, and I can diligently pray for them. But I also think it's okay sometimes to say, "I just need a little space right now." Oh how I look forward to eternity when we won't have to worry about these things!!!

Brigetta said...

“Find out who you are and do it on purpose.” - Dolly Parton