on a break

We are officially on a break from homeschooling! Today was the last day of our "spring" term. We celebrated with buttermilk pancakes, real maple syrup, and the option of remaining in pajamas all day long.

Can I share a dirty little secret with you? Promise you won't laugh? Okay.

I'm afraid of taking a break.

There, I said it. I, who counted down the days to summer vacation as a child. I, who was terrified to take on the job of schooling my children, at home.

Yet there's the truth of it. I have a pit in my stomach even thinking about a vacation from school.

The reasons are varied. Mostly I suppose I'm anxious about losing our momentum. I mean, even after a long weekend it's sometimes hard to get back into the swing of things. Also, we had some structure to our weekdays as things were, and it's a bit hard to imagine what the hours will look like during the next few weeks.

A lot of requests to play the Wii, I imagine.

I know we'll be fine. Whatever ground we lose, we'll get back. The boys are doing great, anyway. And our break is only scheduled for about a month - when I planned out our school year, I did it in three terms, each around 3 months long. It made the most sense with a mid-year move, followed by a new baby (and the following postpartum time). And right now, it feels like a good fit for us.

So it'll be alright. It's just the unknown stretching out before me - there are butterflies in my stomach.

But for now, we're going to enjoy the weeks off, pray for true summer to arrive (it's quite tardy this year), and spend time just relaxing together.

And really, I think that's going to be fine by me!

so long, farewell

Ben had his last day at GMC yesterday. He was pretty sad about it. But, he got to walk to the craft store with a teacher & the other remaining kindergartner, and pick out some materials for a craft to take home.

Behold, our newest autumn decor! Benjamin did a great job, and it even smells good.

uncertainty

It's hard to know what next week will look like.

Of course, that is generally the way it is in this life. We can plan, but only God knows what will be. We've been studying the book of James in my women's Bible study group, and this week we talked about this very thing.

13Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." 14Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." 16As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. 17Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins. James 4:13-17

Although last week we had high hopes for Ben to get into the charter school, this week we are no closer to that goal. A few days ago we were eagerly waiting for the phone call that would tell us for sure; now we're just hoping it works out. It's all up in the air at the moment, and I don't like it one bit.

But so many things in life are a question of timing. Whether the school will be able to work things out so that they have room for Benjamin -- the right time to buy a house or find a new job -- having children -- and yes, even when the school he's in now will close. Last week I was talking about how glad I suddenly was that we hadn't been able to find a place for Ben, so that he was available to go into the charter school. Now, I am weary with wondering how this will all play out. There are many details which would need to be worked out, first. Details over which I have no control.

It's been a stressful week. There have been stress-related headaches, stomachaches, and tantrums...and that's just talking about the adults! Both Jeff and I have felt a bit like we were a couple of bundles of nerves. I'm not sure why we've taken this situation so hard, but it has us feeling quite down, no doubt about it. You might say, "But, it's only kindergarten." Yes. But it's also our son.

And I admittedly don't do well with uncertainty. I am a planner, and I like to know. So, I'm sure there's a lesson intended for me in this. And I'm trying to relax my grip a bit, so I can really put this situation in the Lord's hands.

So: if it is the Lord's will, Benjamin will be accepted into the charter school. It certainly is what we're hoping for. But it won't be based on anything we do or don't do. It's all in His hands, according to His plan.

I know he has a place for my boy, a perfect plan all worked out. And I look forward to seeing what that is.

changing horses, midstream

Benjamin is changing schools.

Largely due to economic difficulties, the school where Ben has been since the fall of 2006, which he loves, is closing. We've known that this was a strong possibility for more than a month now. Despite extra effort from the staff and parents to help out, it seems that the school is indeed buckling. The numbers have been steadily dwindling, and the school (private, Montessori) isn't even coming close to paying for itself.

So we've been scrambling to find another place for our Ben. It's been a bit stressful, as we kept getting told that there were no openings for kindergartners in a Montessori classroom anywhere near us.

But! We heard last week that there was a good chance that Ben will get into the school we've been hoping for. It's ideal: it's a charter school (which will be infinitely better on our pocketbook than another private institution), Montessori, and it's two minutes from our house. We've been so excited about the possibility. I had a chance to tour the school a few weeks ago, and was very impressed by all that I saw. But Ben was several names down on the waiting list, so we didn't dare count on it.

Of course, we're still sad that his beloved school is closing. Ben has loved it there, and made good friends. We were planning to send Kyle there next year, and now we'll have to rework that plan. But most of all, it's such a great school. The teacher there is amazing; she is so good with the children, a natural teacher. So it's really sad that the school she's started, and poured her life into, is failing.

We haven't talked to Benjamin about any of this yet. We wanted to wait until we knew more details, so he wouldn't be adrift in the uncertainty we've been experiencing. Still, I think he suspects. There are currently only four children left in the 3-6 years age group. And there have been so many parent meetings in the evenings, and various conversations going on, that I'm sure has to know that something is up. We're praying that the details will fall into place for the charter school. For now, I hope the conversation with Benjamin goes well, when the time comes. And it's coming soon! It seems the school is officially closing in only two more days...

the first day of school: kindergarten

Our oldest child started kindergarten today! He was so excited. It made me laugh...I had told him I set his alarm at 6:50 AM and that he could hit snooze once or twice, but soon after 7:00 AM I would come in, and then it would be time to get up & get ready for the day. Well, I heard the alarm go off, and not five minutes later Ben appeared, fully dressed and beaming from ear to ear. Quite a contrast to the way I've had to work to get him out of bed the last two years. Let us hope this refreshing new trend continues.

Benjamin attends at Montessori school. It does a 3-year program: two years of "preschool" and then kindergarten, all in the same classroom. So the 3-, 4-, 5-, and 6-year-olds are all in the same class. The older children help the younger children, and the younger children can watch those big kids and see what they'll be learning someday. I think it really works, and Ben and I are both so excited that this year he'll be one of the big kids.

So, armed with a lunch he'd prepared himself, wearing a new shirt bought especially for this day, and eager to be back in his classroom, my boy went happily to kindergarten. No one cried, not even me. In a lot of ways this feels just like what we've done the past two years. I'll bet next year will wrench my heart a bit, though. Then he'll be starting a new school and making new friends.

I know it's unorthodox, but in Ben's Montessori school the kindergartners need to be at school for a full day: from 8:30 to 3:00. It feels so strange to have my firstborn gone for so much of the day! But he was thrilled. He's been campaigning to be a "three o'clocker" for a long time now. And now his moment has arrived!