so what *can* I eat?

Last week I shared a bit about the new eating plan I'm adopting, in hopes of improving my health.   I'm now several days into this new lifestyle (today is Day 5, if you're interested), and honestly it's going better than I expected.  It seems the anticipation and dread leading up to it were far worse than the actual diet itself.  Who knew?

I do desperately miss fruit.  I processed three flats of summer berries this week, and it was very difficult to not eat a few.  Plus, I'm harvesting them regularly from my own backyard, as well as serving them to my family.  We were invited to pick plums from a friend's tree also, which the kids have been enjoying hugely.  I'm glad, but I can honestly say that I miss fruit far more than I miss sweets, bread, or even cheese.

But the point of this post is to share not about what I can't eat, but what I can.  So in a nutshell (so to speak), here are the nuts and bolts of it.

1)   Raw and Cooked Vegetables.  Lots and lots of vegetables.  I can eat essentially any true vegetable (not tomatoes, much to my deep regret), even starchy ones.  But the only potatoes I am allowed are red potatoes.  And I understand that I should not be eating those very often.   There are some strict rules about what I can combine starchy vegetables with (they must not be eaten with animal protein or grains, for example), but they are allowed under certain circumstances.    The book instructs those following this diet to fill our plates 80% with vegetables, and 20% with either protein or a diet-approved grain dish.  While pregnant, I am not comfortable with that ratio, so I'm just doing my best to eat lots of protein and lots of vegetables.  I've never been one to eat much veg at the breakfast table, but I'm learning!

garlic carrot sticks

2)  Fermented/Cultured Foods.   This eating plan focuses heavily on fermented foods, primarily vegetables.  Thankfully, I've been learning to culture vegetables at home during this past year, so this is not a difficult step for me.  I love Garlic Carrot Sticks (you can find the recipe and many more in this delightful books: The Complete Idiot's Guide to Fermenting Foods.) and I'm coming around to dill pickles.  I've fermented beets, green beans, and made garlic sauerkraut, among other things.  At this very moment I have five jars in my "fermenting corner," nearly ready to roll.  I'm to eat fermented vegetables at every. single. meal., which is a bit of a stretch for me...but again, I'm learning.

Two fermented items I cannot have at this time are kombucha (*sob*) and milk kefir.  Pretty much all dairy is off-limits (more on that in a minute), although the plan does highly, highly encourage coconut water kefir.  I am planning to try that soon, hopefully my taste buds won't rebel at the sour beverage too much!

3)  Butter.  Okay, so I've been saying "no dairy, no dairy, woe is me!" but actually I can have butter.  That's the one exception, and I'll admit that it is a huge one.  Cultured, pastured butter is preferred (thankfully that's what I already buy!), raw is ideal.  I do not have a way to purchase raw butter at this time, and I would rather not make it if I can avoid it.   It's not a hard process, but I find it tedious...and besides, I hate pouring all that precious cream off of my family's milk!  So for now I'm comfortable with that compromise.

4)  Unrefined, organic oils.  Coconut oil, olive oil, and a few others.  Thankfully I haven't had to change that part of my routine.  These oils are huge in my house!

5)  Raw Apple Cider Vinegar.  This is the only vinegar allowed on the diet, which means I need to be very careful about label-reading (no yellow mustard for me!).  Thankfully, ACV was already a staple in my kitchen, and the salad dressing I use most often is comprised mainly of olive oil and ACV, which is a very happy thing.

6)  Organic meats and Eggs.  Clean animal proteins seem to be pretty much allowed across the board, although as I've said, there are rules about not coming them with grains or starchy foods.  I very much enjoy eggs, and they are a major part of our family's diet. So although I need to be careful about how I dress these foods, I can still enjoy our grass-fed beef, the pastured chickens we just acquired, pastured eggs and other meaty goodness.  Not ketchup on my burger, though!

7)  Grain-like Seeds. Quinoa, amaranth, millet, buckwheat.  I am fairly familiar with quinoa and millet, not so much the others.  So I'll figure it out.  Again, no grains with meat or starches, but I can mix them with vegetables and dress them up with an approved sauce, or even fry up a slab of leftover millet in butter!  The flours made from these seeds should be used very sparingly, and probably not until a few months down the road, but still I'm very grateful for my options.

8)  Seeds.  Certain seeds are allowed, and the main one I'll be eating is sunflower seeds.  This is particularly wonderful because of this sunbutter recipe, which I believe may just save my sanity.  I like to lick it off of a spoon, dip my carrot sticks in it, and I'm sure there will be much more as time goes on.  Instead of sugar/honey, I add a few drops of alcohol-free stevia for a little sweetness. It is delicious!

9)  Lemons and limes.   As I've mentioned before, fruits are extremely limited on this diet.  However, the happy fact is that I can have lemons and limes (cranberries too, but I dislike cranberries, so they don't count, do they?) galore.  I do love lemons and limes, and one of my favorite summer beverages is The Nourishing Gourrmet's Lemonade.  And this brings me to my last happy "It's allowed, wheeee!"...

10) Stevia.   Yep, I can have stevia to sweeten my foods.  Only alcohol-free stevia, mind you.  As it happens I've had a love/hate relationship with stevia for years.  I love how it's been used for hundreds of years, how you only have to use a bit, how it's completely and totally sugar-free.  But it can be tricky to use, especially for baked items.  Just before I started this thing, I tried substituting a bit of stevia for honey in a gluten-free waffle recipe.  We love the recipe in its original state, but with stevia it was definitely lacking, on several levels.  Plus, my gluten-free toddler isn't interested in the leftovers.  Not good!   So once again, I'm learning.  And I see stevia, for all its challenges, as something of a gift.  A way to add a little sweetness to certain foods (like coconut kefir) without feeding the condition I'm battling?  Wonderful.

Bonus!  I came across these Virgin Mojitos a month or two ago.  After enjoying them at a party, I was absolutely thrilled to learn that the recipe calls for liquid stevia, and not sugar!  I did a little digging and found that club soda seems to be allowed on my eating plan.  And so, there was much rejoicing!  It's incredibly nice to be able to have a little treat now and then...especially a summery one!

lacto-fermented beets

So there you have it: basic list of the things I can eat.  I may have left a few things out here and there, but that's the gist of it.  Feel free to ask any questions!  I'm still learning, but I'm happy to share what little I do know.

I'm hopeful that in a few months I'll be able to start incorporating a few more things into my diet.  Blueberries and kiwi.  Raw milk kefir. I may even be able to have corn (and blue corn chips!) before that time.  It's my prayer that my situation will be much improved by the time my baby arrives.  Will you join me in praying for this?  It would be such an incredible blessing.



P.S. For more detailed information on this subject, click HERE.

sweet 16

 It's been 16 years since we said "I do."  Actually it was "I will," and there's a funny story behind that - but I'll spare you.  Let's just say there was no hesitating on that day.  We loved each other and we were ready to pledge our lives to one another.

This man has been such a blessing to me!  I am honored to be his wife.  Over and over he extends me grace, and he is so considerate and respectful.  He's turned out to be an amazing father (but I knew that he would be) and an even better husband, partner, lover, leader and friend.

I've loved my life these past 16 years, and I pray we'll have many, many more years together.  I have my heart set on growing old with this guy.


Happy Anniversary, Dearest.  I love you more today than I ever have before.  And given our history, that's saying something!

weekend for two

My husband and I got away - by ourselves - this past weekend.  We had a really nice time!

We went to a bed & breakfast northwest of our home.  It was beautiful, the weather was great, and the company was stellar.  

Here we are sitting by the creek.

Crippen Creek.  Lovely, no?

The view from our bedroom included trees and pastured chickens.  We even got to collect the eggs on Saturday.  And I was reminded of my irrational fear of birds, and the reason I really should never have backyard chickens.  They were lovely from a distance though.

There's nothing like pretty scenery framed by a clear blue sky.

We enjoyed a day in Astoria, and had a lovely gluten-free lunch. 

Also, I feel in love with a new flavor of Izze!

Rest, relaxation, good food, better company, and time to talk, talk, talk.  Success!

an announcement

I have something tell you guys.  It's not a huge deal - at least, I don't know that it is...not yet anyway.  Still, it's kind of exciting.  And there is potential here.  

Do you remember when I shared that I was falling in love with essential oils?  That attraction has continued to grow, and I've had so much fun learning about them.  

I carry them with me wherever I go.  We use them a lot around the house - for stomachaches, for bumps and bruises, for aromatherapy.  I personally use them on a daily basis - several times a day, in fact.

So in light of all this, and my love of the oils and what they can do, I have decided to become a consultant for DoTerra.  I'm still not entirely sure how this will look in my life, or how far I will try to take it all.  For now, let's just say I'm on a new journey.  And if you're interested in learning more about DoTerra or essential oils, or if you'd like to order something through me, let me know.  We can learn together!

After all, I'm just getting started.

but not for me

Do you know the old song "But Not For Me?"  You can hear the incomparable Ella Fitzgerald croon it if you follow this link.

Lately I've found myself humming this classic tune a lot.  Mostly in the kitchen.

It's not love that I've missed out on.  (If that were the case, I'm pretty sure I'd be singing this one 24/7.)  Not at all.   Still, I have been a bit wistful of late.  And there's a very good reason for that.  Let me tell you about it...

my gluten-free toddler & me

Here's how my personal adaptation of the song goes -

"I'm making sourdough now
But not for me
Soaked whole wheat waffles now
But not for me

Because I truthfully
Need to be gluten-free
For now, they're not
For me

I'm bottling 'bucha now
But not for me
Concord or berries, wow
But not for me

Four batches regular-ly
But I feel no, no glee
Because it's not
For me..."


It's true.  It's all a bit complicated, and I won't go into all the gritty details just now, but for the foreseeable future I am on a very restricted diet.  No gluten, indeed very few grains.  Ideally no sweeteners at all save stevia, although I'm letting myself have a tiny bit of raw honey each day.  No kombucha (*sob*).  And very little, if any, dairy.

It hasn't been easy, and I can't say it's fun to prepare my favorite foods every day knowing that I cannot enjoy them.  But the last month or so has told me, loud and clear, that I need to be very careful right now.  As wonderful (and healthful!) as these things are, for me the consequences to my own health are not worth that moment of pleasure.

And so, I'll go on serving English muffins with honey, and jam, and other things I can't have.  I'll make ice cream and keep on brewing that fizzy kombucha.  I'm glad my family enjoys partaking of these things, and am truly happy to serve my loved ones in this way.  But this stuff?  Right now?

It's not for me.

trying

I've had a difficult few weeks.  Some health issues have come up...nothing life-threatening, but bothersome and uncomfortable all the same.  And a little bit complicated.  I'm sure I will share more about that in the future, when I know a little better what I'm dealing with.  For now, let's just say it's been a bit difficult.  I feel vulnerable and a little sad.  It's been hard to stay patient with those around me - not good if you're a homeschooling mama....

But something my oldest son said the other day has helped click things back into perspective.  So along those lines I'm going to count my blessings and camp on the truth.

On the brighter side, here are a few photos from our gorgeously sunny week.

a perfect day for popsicles!

taking a break while strolling around the neighborhood

He is obsessed with balls.

Really, there's a girl in there. I promise.

I am very blessed.  I am redeemed by my Lord, I am adored by my husband, and I am blessed with beautiful, amazing children.    So I'm counting my blessings one by one.  I'm trying.

a success story: self-perception

Here's a funny thing:  I find myself feeling better about my body more and more.

I haven't made great strides toward my goals, and although I've been faithful in my routines (exercise, skin brushing), I haven't lost any dress sizes just yet.  Don't worry, I'm not discouraged.  I'm mostly feeling good about how I'm eating, though of course no one can eat perfectly all the time.  At present things are holding pretty steady - my efforts as well as my waistline.

But here's the interesting part.  It seems that the more tender care I take of my physical self, the more I am able to overlook the flaws I still see reflected in the mirror.

Take skin brushing, for example.  Each morning I am taking a few minutes to tend to my skin.  To go through a specific routine, to cater to my feet, legs, stomach, etc.  As I work my way through...it almost feels like a love letter to my body.  It's as if I'm saying: "You're worth it.  I believe in you.  I want to take care of you."  Perhaps it seems far-fetched, but as I take the time to do this, and the other things I've made a priority, I'm  growing an appreciation for my tangible form.  For my shape.

I suppose maybe it's something like praying for one's enemy.

But my body is not my enemy - although it has seemed so at times in the past.  It's a part of my human self.  It has served me well; it continues to serve me well.

It's true that I am seeing some differences.  The brushing is helping, and so is the regular exercising.  I see toning where there was scarce before; I can feel that I am stronger.  And when I make wise choices about the foods I put into my body, I feel better on many different levels.  There is progress here - slow, steady, but not altogether intangible.

And so, I believe I've had some success.  Not so much in hard, cold numbers - the scale, the measurements, the figures on the tags of my clothing - but in my attitude.  In my heart.  In my level of acceptance, appreciation, and ...yes, joy.   I am learning to take joy in my shape again.

It's all so worth it.  Maybe I will be a success story after all.

I want to be a success story. (part 2)

me in September 2008, after switching to a traditional diet

If you have not yet read "I want to be a success story (part 1)," I recommend you go do that HERE.

This series has been difficult for me to write.  Thank you for caring, and thank you for dealing with me kindly.    The close of Part 1 brings us up to the beginning of 2013.  I was frustrated, going back and forth between wanting to try again (but in what way?) and giving up.

One more detail: in 2012 we discovered that my thyroid was a little sluggish.  I began taking thyroid support supplements in May, as well as dessicated thyroid (Armor).   These things helped a few other issues in my life, but made no dent in my metabolism.  In the autumn of 2012 we bumped up my dose of dessicated thyroid.  "Let me know if you start having heart palpitations," my doctor said.  I had none; in fact there was no discernible difference in my physical situation - and no change in my weight at all.  Was it one more fruitless effort?

I know there are some who would say "cut down on red meat, or grains, and stop with all the coconut oil and stuff."  The thing is, I don't believe that's necessary.  It's possible that I'm just being stubborn, but I am convinced that having a variety of traditional, nourishing foods in one's "diet" are essential to physical well-being.  Likewise, I don't believe that getting up at 5 AM each day and exercising my tail off is best for me either.  Rest and sleep are crucially important too, and I don't get enough sleep as it is - even with our recent changes.  (Perhaps the problem is my adrenals, and if I could have a good three days to sleep all I want, things would turn around. If anyone has any suggestions of how I could possibly manage that, I'm all ears!)

Recently I've come across several "real food blogs" with someone's story about how they "lost all this weight effortlessly, while eating healthy fats, and maintained it too...with no exercise at all!"  And the thing is...I believe it.  I've lived it.  But it doesn't seem to be working for me any more.  At least, not at the moment.

And breastfeeding?  Forget about it.  Breastfeeding has never helped me lose a single pound.  I have had to fight for any weight I've ever lost - aside from that period in 2008 when I switched to a traditional diet, and it just melted away.  Every other time it's been a slow, uphill climb.  When other women talk about breastfeeding as a weight loss aid, it's Greek to me.

I feel as though I'm missing something.  Perhaps I get discouraged too easily.  Maybe I just haven't found the right combination.  I think it's pretty likely that my hormones are an issue as well.   When I'm perfectly honest with myself, I don't think I haven't lost that baby weight because of a lack of effort.  It seems that there's something else out there...some key I haven't discovered just yet.  And so, I seek.

In the early years of my marriage, I lost nearly 70 lbs through portion control and eating an extremely low-fat diet.  Although it was hard work, I had a happy result; but I do not want to go down that road again.  I don't think it was healthy - and I believe that the low-fat diet had a great deal to do with the temporary (2 1/2 long years) infertility my husband and I experienced early on.  I believe I was malnourished during that time, and I won't subject my body to that again.

So what to do?  What's the game plan?  What can I alter to achieve a positive result here?  Here are some things I'm implementing into my routine in my effort to do take care of my body:

T-Tapp Workouts.  Say what?  I've been hearing about T-Tapp for a while now, and ordered some DVDs while I was pregnant with Gabe.  Although I tried it a few times, I became discouraged and fell out of the habit of T-Tapping regularly.  But I suspect I should've stuck with it for longer.  What is it?  From the website:  "T-Tapp is a series of copyrighted, sequential movements designed to put the body in proper functional alignment. Its special sequence of comprehensive, compound muscle movement helps establish better alignment as well as increased strength and flexibility of the spine, better neuro-kinetic flow, lymphatic function, and increased metabolic rate. Its physical therapy approach to fitness makes it safe for those with shoulder, hip, knee, neck, and back concerns. Yet, it delivers a challenging workout for all fitness levels!"  

Make no mistake, it is hard work.  It feels and looks a bit odd, but at several weeks in I can tell that my body is changing.  I see this as a workout I can take into middle age with me (um, let's not think about that too much), and I really like that it's low-impact.  It's a really smart way to exercise, and the success stories are amazing.

Skin Brushing.   Okay, now I'm just talking crazy, right?  Wrong.  I learned about skin brushing through Teresa Tapp, but if you do your own research, you will find a lot of information on skin brushing.  It helps the skin rid itself of toxins, tightens the skin, encourages good circulation, boosts the lymphatic system, and more.  It is credited with helping to reduce cellulite as well as varicose and spider veins.  I will readily admit that I felt utterly ridiculous the first time I tried skin brushing.   But let me tell you, only a week into it I could see results.  Even my post-partum belly (I can still call it that, right?  I'm still "post" partum...) has firmed up noticeably - and you know I'm my own worst critic in that area.  I believe my spider veins are diminishing as well.  Did I just admit to having spider veins on the Internet?  Yes, I believe I did.

Coconut oil appetizers.  Dr. Mary Enig and Sally Fallon discuss this idea at length in their book "Eat Fat, Lose Fat."  Coconut oil is a healthy fat which I consider to be a superfood. It both suppresses the appetite and boosts metabolism.  Taking 1-2 tablespoons a little while before one eats is reported to contribute to weight loss.  I've tried stirring it into hot tea, and I know some people just take it off the spoon - or even swallow it in smaller pieces like capsules - but currently I keep Peppermint Pattie Coconut Bark in my freezer, and break off a chunk about 20 minutes before mealtime.  I don't know if it will actually help me shed pounds, but it definitely suppresses my appetite.  I've noticed a huge difference!

Smaller portion sizes.  I still forget sometimes, but I'm trying.  I think the more I take my coconut oil appetizers, the easier it will become.  If I'm not as hungry, I won't eat as much - easy as that.

Moderation with grains.  I do not believe that grains are evil.  I serve my family wheat on a regular basis.  I am unabashedly happy that I can eat gluten again.  In our house, we try to consume grains which have been properly prepared - that is, sprouted, soaked, or fermented (as in sourdough).  Even so, I'm trying to mix it up.  I serve coconut flour pancakes and muffins once or twice a week.  We enjoy almond flour waffles and cookies.  Although there are many wonderful ways to eat wheat, it's nice to throw in high-protein, gluten free options as well.

Eat dessert.   As I've learned in the past, depriving myself will only lead to overeating.  So I do still allow myself dessert as long as it's a nourishing one.  One of my favorite recipes is The Nourishing Gourmet's chocolate fudge.  I love to substitute pastured butter for half the coconut oil, though I do enjoy it with all coconut oil as well.   This recipe is easy, fast, and grain- and gluten-free.  And then there's homemade ice cream, which is especially healthful if it has been made with raw, local honey!


As you can see, I'm just starting down the road ...again.  Dusting myself off, giving myself little pep talks, doing my research and hoping for the best.  I'm seeking encouragement where it may be found, and sharing my story here hopes that I might encourage others.   It's not easy, none of it is easy.  Still I feel better for my efforts.

...And if the Lord should choose to lead me down another bend in the road; if He sends us a blessing which would necessitate setting aside my aspirations?  Then I will set them aside for a time, and joyfully receive the gift.

But for now, I'm back on the wagon!

 

the gluten situation

I know this gluten-free thing must keep you up at night wondering, so I thought I'd follow up and put you out of your misery.

I'm great like that.

The happy news is that the issue that was plaguing me is completely unrelated to gluten.  It's almost totally resolved a week after its final diagnosis. As a result, I am now back to eating properly-prepared gluten foods - that is, soaked, sprouted, and fermented/dourdough.  A thousand yays!

The past week has been a long one, but one of the bright spots has been my happy reunion with sourdough and other gluteny items.  I've relished pancakes (pictured above), soaked biscuits made with tallow, and a buttered slice of sourdough just out of the oven.  *swoon*

This morning we had sourdough English muffins, and I am greatly looking forward to making sourdough crepes again this week.  So, so good!

I'm so pleased to be able to eat the foods I love again, and very thankful.

this is huge (for me).

I did something crazy.  I mean really crazy.  This is something I've never done before in my whole life - at least, not since hitting adolescence.  Let's see...I guess it's been over twenty years then, which rather feels like a lifetime.

What was this crazy thing that I did?  I went out in public with no make-up.

Granted, it was dark.  And it was rainy.  And I was wearing a hat.  But still, it felt huge.  It was a big decision I made, removing my eye make-up and washing my face before running out to pick up the horde of children (our four plus some neighbor kids) from Awana.  It was a calculated, I'm-gonna-be-where-people-are-do I-really-wanna-do-this choice.

(Here's the backstory: my husband usually does the post-Awana pick-up while I put the baby to bed.   But he was away this particular evening, and I agreed to keep the baby up late and take him along and do the whole shebang myself.  However.  I knew I would be exhausted after a long day, and after getting home late and getting the baby to bed well past his bedtime...well, I knew I wanted to be as ready for bed, myself, as possible.)

(I also briefly contemplated wearing my pajamas under my coat, but decided against it.  Also, you'll be pleased to know that I ultimately chose to keep my bra on.)

(Sorry you had to read that, Daddy.)

(I also apologize to my father-in-law.  And any other males who might be reading this.)

Okay, you might be - quite rightly - laughing at me right about now.  Going out without make-up?  Pish-posh.  Mascara, smascara.  What's the big deal?  And I allow, it isn't a big deal.  At least, it shouldn't be.  I get that.  I accept that.

Yet for me...it's been a yoke I've borne for more than two decades.  Vanity?  Of course!  Insecurity?  Probably.  But a factor, however minor, in my life.

And so, be glad for me.  I'm making progress here - I must be.  For once, I was brave (or brazen) enough to go out in public without a single cosmetic on my face.  And it was alright, really and truly alright.

At least...in the dark and the rain...with a hat!

why "What I Wore Wednesday" isn't fair

Have you heard about What I Wore Wednesday over at the pleated poppy?  The blogger Lindsey Cheney writes an explanation of the concept: 

...after years of staying at home with my kids i began to “let myself go”.  i started this to motivate myself to just get dressed – put a few minutes into myself to feel better for the whole day!  if you are finding yourself in this same situation, i want to encourage you to join us –  this really works!  take a look at all the other ladies joining me – real women wearing real clothes!

I like the idea, I really do.  I've even considered joining in the blog hop myself, but I had a teensy little problem.   Just an itty bitty one.

Here's the deal:   Wednesdays don't work for me.  You might say I have a bit of a conflict.  You see, in my life, in my world, Wednesday is sweatpants-and-slippers day.

I realize that this appears to fly in the face of the very spirit of WIWW.  Truthfully I have made an effort for years now to limit my sweatpants-wearing to one day a week.  In a silly little way I felt I needed to help raise the standard for stay-at-home moms everywhere.  Mightily I resisted the siren call of wearing sweatpants and pajamas every day of the week.  After all, one must make some effort, right?  And a thing like that can be a slippery slope.

But I did keep one day.  Wednesday.

You see, many days of the week I get out of the house.  Saturday is shopping day.  Sunday is church.  Monday is homeschool co-op.  Tuesday, Bible study, the milk run and Awanas.  And then comes Wednesday.

Wednesday.  The first day after a long stretch when I don't have to go anywhere.  When this homebody can brew a hot drink, snuggle up with her little ones and read the day away.  Wednesday is just perfect for sweats (or shall we use the more flattering term "yoga pants"?).   A cozy, comfy, "the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful" day. 

Perhaps things will shift a bit now that Monday School is finished for the year.   Maybe Monday will become my comfy day.  But...I don't know.  I couldn't say.  There's something about that midway point, that halfway-day in the midst of all those weekdays, that just speaks to me.  That says...

Relax.  Unwind.  Take a deep breath.  

Just be.

I have learned the secret.

I live in Oregon.  Northwestern Oregon, to be precise.

It's beautiful here, truly.  It's green, for one thing.  There are mountains and rivers, waterfalls and, a couple of hours away, beaches.  Springtime brings an explosion of blooms: crocuses, daffodils, and rhododendron bushes.  It is gorgeous.  

Then there's the summer.  Clear sunny skies, largely comfortable temperatures.  Beautiful.

And then, autumn.  My favorite, hands down.  The season turns.  There are crisp, cool mornings...the trees donning their glamorous gowns of red, orange, and rich yellow.  Absolutely stunning.

But then autumn, glorious spiced autumn turns gray.  The sky grows dim and the rains begin.   Rains which, as seasoned NW dwellers know well, will not really stop for many months.  The year grows old, the days grow short, and everything grows damp and - well, soggy.

As I've mentioned before, I'm not from 'round these parts.  I was a happy Midwesterner, and transplanting to this part of the country was something of a shock to my system.  It took me a long time to begin to acclimate, to accept the rain for what it is: part of the package of this place.  A huge part of what makes it so beautiful; the driving force of all the greenery - and those lovely springtime blossoms.

Ah, but I didn't really find the key until last year.  That missing piece, the thing that keeps me from becoming grumpy as soon as the sun hides its face.  That key, that secret (for me anyway) is very simple.  When I go out in the rain, I wear a hat.

A hat!  One with a brim, to keep the raindrops off my glasses and my face.  A covering to keep my head dry and warm.  Somehow, wearing a hat as I move through the drizzle, I feel something like a superhero.

Perhaps it sounds silly.  Maybe it's superficial.  But for me, it is the key.  At long last I've learned the secret to being content out in the wet, wet, wet northwest elements, whether cold or not, whether I'm watching soccer or choosing pumpkins.

The humble hat.

it's about time!

This will be my twelfth autumn and winter in the Pacific northwest.  As such, I thought it was about time I got myself some rain boots.   The kids all have them, of course.  But up to this point I've been slogging through soccer games, outings to the pumpkin patch, and various other squishy outings, doing my very best to keep my sneakers from being overwhelmed with mud.  

But now I have an infinitely better option for rainy, soggy days.

And it's a good thing, too...

another year

I had another birthday this week.  It turns out they're kind of an annual thing.  My day was filled with family, fun, and really good food.

crafted from me by our oldest son

Cinnamon Roll Pull-Apart Bread

Lunch out, followed by shoe shopping!

cards

watching the annual birthday soccer game

Me & Jeff at the soccer field

A sweet ending, surrounded by family

my brother & me

This one's for you, Mama.

not in kansas anymore

We're not in Kansas anymore.

I was surprised by how emotional we were about our return to the sunflower state.  Jeff and I were practically giddy as we approached the state line last week.  We took photos of the landscape, the  familiar signs, some of our favorite locations.  We drove by the spot where my husband proposed to me, took the children to the church where we were wed.    We went to the park where I played as a young girl; Jeff's elementary school.  I strolled down the sidewalk of my hometown, marveling at how much it still felt so familiar even though much had changed.

As my husband said, that's kind of been the theme of this trip.  So much (including the two of us) has changed, yet so much is the same.  

We marveled at the faces we know so well.  Friends dear to us for many years now.  We have driven by sunflowers and lifted our faces with them to wide blue skies.

There's no sky like a Kansas sky.

When we began the journey toward the southern boundary of our home state, I felt a great sadness sweep over me. In so many ways, this place feels like home.  It is so familiar, known. Here we feel the almost-palpable love of those we said goodbye to when we pulled up our roots nearly twelve years ago.   The plains just feel right to me in so many ways.  They suit me; they fit me.

But we're not in Kansas anymore.

We've moved on, crossed the border. We're headed to different places, to see new sights and have new experiences.  So I'm choosing to keep my eyes ahead.   After all... if I keep looking behind me, I might miss something amazing yet to come.