Thursday, September 27, 2012

to the huggers

Here's something that's been on my mind for a while now.

It may not be vitally important.  In fact, I'm certain it's not.  Yet it begs to be said - and paltry though it seems, I believe it's worth putting out there.

I am not a hugger.  (This will come as no surprise to those of you who know me in real life.)

By this I mean that I am not naturally inclined to offer hugs, at least not to those outside my close family.  I simply don't think of it.  It's also true that at times I am uncomfortable receiving hugs.  Not always, but at times they feel contrived to me, forced, unnatural.  But I'm pretty sure that's my own issue and not the individual hugging me.

But here's the thing: usually I don't mind getting hugs.  If I see you going in for one, I'll likely reciprocate with affection - even warmth.   It's simply that I just - don't - think of initiating such a thing myself, not usually. 

Oh, don't worry: I hug my kids incessantly.   I hug my man.  I hug my parents, brother and his wife, in-laws.  And during our trip to the Midwest last summer, I gave hugs a-plenty.

But if I see you somewhere...say a restaurant, my church, the library, a store - don't be hurt if I don't automatically lean toward your body with extended arms.  I'm almost certainly glad to see you (honest!), but it's a personal space issue - and it's my "problem," not yours.

And if I've been known to hug you in the past, but there's not even a hint of it now as we're catching up?  Take heart.  It probably never even occurred to me.

I leave you with this....

(If you find this hard to read, try clicking HERE.)


Laurie Neverman, The Common Sense Woman said...

lol - I hear you! I've never been a hugger, but have learned to adapt since I have several gal pals who are. :-)

Kristin said...

I'm not a hugger either! I do hug my kids and my husband, but I find it hard to hug anyone else, even my parents! I need my space!

Mama said...

I've never been a hugger except for my family. But I'm used to hugging people at church who like hugging. That cartoon was pretty good. Dad got a good chuckle out of it too.

I Am Not Superwoman said...

I had no idea. I think I hugged you when I left the jewelry party you had. Anymore it is just second nature to me to hug some of the women at church, from church that I feel connected with.

Mindy said...

Jenn - Oh no! It's not that I dislike receiving hugs. I just don't think to offer them. I'm kind of learning who is a hugger and who is not, and I have a pretty good idea of what to expect these days. :)