I won't be "Mother of the Year" in 2012.

This week already feels a little different.

Monday School finished up this week.  Henceforth Mondays will be our own again, and I fully plan to crack down and get a lot done on those mornings.   History, Bible, Math, Language Arts, laundry, you name it.  I can hardly wait to get going.

This Friday night is our homeschool co-op's Showcase Night.  Three of my children will be taking part in presentations.  There will be Spanish recitations.  Owen's class will be singing.   There will be tables displaying class work - such as a board game my son helped create. Their teachers will be present.  There may be a video montage.  It will be a chance for the to show off what they've been doing and learning this term.

And I will not be there.

My husband will be taking the kids by himself, hopefully taking videos of what I'm missing.  He'll be navigating the crowd with our brood in tow, tending to bathroom emergencies, finding seats, reminding them to listen quietly, c lapping for them, and then taking the lot home and getting them into bed - without me.  Did I mention I won't be there?

Nope.  Instead, I will be resting in a cozy beach house at the coast.  I'm taking the baby (who would apparently starve if I wasn't around to nurse him regularly) and heading west with a group of friends for a weekend of relaxation and encouragement.

I'm excited, looking forward to it, anticipating...and feeling a little guilty.  I don't like the idea of missing their presentations.  I feel bad that Jeff will be playing the single parent while I'm away (though I know he's more than capable; he is such a great dad).  Still I am choosing to go.  I want to go.

I want to bask in the wisdom and perspective of these mamas - did I mention they're all homeschoolers?   I want to get away for a few days, to have an adventure, to enjoy the company and fellowship of other women.    And I want to soak up the encouragement which I'm sure will slow.  The reminder of why we do what we do.  The reason(s) we're on this crazy journey.

And I think it'll be worth it.

So I'm taking the leap, going out on a limb, stepping out of my comfort zone.  And yes, I'll be missing Showcase Night.  Still, my kids know I love them and am praying for them.  And when we get back I will snuggle up with them and watch the videos of the presentations I missed - hopefully a more relaxed and even happier mama.

Here I go...to the salty sea air, the sound of the waves, the murmur of women's voices and the pleasure of being away from home.  Here I go...to conversation, laughter, food, and most of all, encouragement.

Worth it?  Yes...