a letter to my neighbors

To my dear neighbors ...

I think you ought to know that we actually do discourage our children from screaming bloody murder in the back yard. But sometimes they forget. And while I try to come as soon as I hear their playful screams, these days during playtime I am often upstairs. And pregnant. Sometimes exercising on the floor. So it may take me a while. But rest assured, when you hear those otherworldly noises coming from our yard, I am waddling downstairs as quickly as my tired old feet can carry me.

Also, we really are going to do more with that back yard. Promise.

Another thing I'd like to point out is that I almost never hear knocks on the door. Between noisy kitchen activities (small appliances, the dishwasher, the faucet running, not to mention my love of listening to music as I work) and the fact that it's impossible to hear a knock on the door from the second story...well, knock at your own risk. I know I'm in the minority, but I really don't mind if you use the doorbell.

Lastly, there's no need to be concerned if you see the light at the back door being turned on and off, on and off, on and off. Please don't concern yourself that someone might be trying to signal an S.O.S. in Morse Code. There's no need, I promise. It's only that my little girl has discovered the versatility of the humble stool, and she is also very fond of light switches. I am merely trying to pick my battles here, especially when there's a toddler involved.

So, that's it. There were just a few things I thought you might need to know. Do with that information as you will...