Wednesday, December 5, 2012

this is huge (for me).

I did something crazy.  I mean really crazy.  This is something I've never done before in my whole life - at least, not since hitting adolescence.  Let's see...I guess it's been over twenty years then, which rather feels like a lifetime.

What was this crazy thing that I did?  I went out in public with no make-up.

Granted, it was dark.  And it was rainy.  And I was wearing a hat.  But still, it felt huge.  It was a big decision I made, removing my eye make-up and washing my face before running out to pick up the horde of children (our four plus some neighbor kids) from Awana.  It was a calculated, I'm-gonna-be-where-people-are-do I-really-wanna-do-this choice.

(Here's the backstory: my husband usually does the post-Awana pick-up while I put the baby to bed.   But he was away this particular evening, and I agreed to keep the baby up late and take him along and do the whole shebang myself.  However.  I knew I would be exhausted after a long day, and after getting home late and getting the baby to bed well past his bedtime...well, I knew I wanted to be as ready for bed, myself, as possible.)

(I also briefly contemplated wearing my pajamas under my coat, but decided against it.  Also, you'll be pleased to know that I ultimately chose to keep my bra on.)

(Sorry you had to read that, Daddy.)

(I also apologize to my father-in-law.  And any other males who might be reading this.)

Okay, you might be - quite rightly - laughing at me right about now.  Going out without make-up?  Pish-posh.  Mascara, smascara.  What's the big deal?  And I allow, it isn't a big deal.  At least, it shouldn't be.  I get that.  I accept that.

Yet for me...it's been a yoke I've borne for more than two decades.  Vanity?  Of course!  Insecurity?  Probably.  But a factor, however minor, in my life.

And so, be glad for me.  I'm making progress here - I must be.  For once, I was brave (or brazen) enough to go out in public without a single cosmetic on my face.  And it was alright, really and truly alright.

At least...in the dark and the rain...with a hat!



1 comment:

Georgia said...

woo!its the small victories that make life bearable...
Georgia
xoxoxox