going deeper

A while back I told you about some changes I was making, relating to some health issues I'm dealing with.  These changes helped somewhat for a while.  But I'm afraid the time has come for me to go even deeper in these dietary changes.

It will be fairly drastic, a regimen sharply focused on gut-healing and careful food choices/combining.  It's not going to be easy, for sure.  In fact, I am pretty sure it's going to be the hardest thing I've ever done, and that's considering natural childbirth and homeschooling.

Can I be honest here?  Completely honest?  I am so bummed about this.  It's going to have a huge impact on my life...on my summer...on how I participate in social gatherings.  My food choices will be extremely restricted (the only fruit allowed is lemons, limes, and cranberries...I hate cranberries).  There are a lot of seasonal goodies I won't get to enjoy this year.  No beans (which means no hummus), no grains, no dairy products.  Ah...cheese!

But you know what? I have reason to hope that this exercise will make a difference.  And so, I have to try.  Because I can't live this way.

My skin is a mess; half the time I just want to rip it off.  I can't sleep...or rather, I can't stay asleep.  I'm too uncomfortable.  I am self-conscious about the way I look, and I generally don't want anyone to touch me - unless they're offering to rub my back...

People ask me how I'm feeling, and I know they mean in terms of my pregnancy.  Honestly, pregnancy-wise I feel awesome.  Stellar.   Couldn't be better.  But this other stuff...that's something different altogether.

I think the symptoms I'm experiencing are evidence of something that has been awry for a long time.  It's time to do something about all this.

What I'm hoping - praying - is that things will have improved dramatically by the time my baby arrives in December.  It could be very difficult to take care of a newborn under these conditions.

So...if you think about it, pray for me.  I'm about to take the plunge.  It's going to be difficult, no doubt about it - it'll mean extra work in the kitchen, changing my (healthy!) habits, and watching those around me eat my favorite foods without me.  It'll mean difficulty in social settings; I've already found myself shying away from certain events which I know will focus heavily on food I can't eat.  So yeah, it's going to be a challenge.  But I hope - I pray - it'll be worth it.