babying

I've come to realize that I have continued to treat Owen like a baby, far later than I did his older brothers. Possibly this is due to my increased busyness. Possibly it's a desire to keep the baby that (for a time) I expected to be my last from growing up too fast. Or I suppose it could be pure laziness....

When it's time to change a diaper, my routine is the same as it was 6 or 8 months ago: lay the child on his back on the changing table, and proceed. I don't name body parts as regularly as I did for the older boys. It didn't occur to me until a few months ago that I rarely encourage Owen to participate in the process of getting dressed - although I distinctly remember sitting on the floor with Benjamin, and Kyle too, showing him how to put his leg into his little sweatpants.

Also (and I am ashamed to admit this) I don't read to Owen as much. I never have. I love books, and I believe in reading to children - but somehow reading to my youngest child rarely works its way into our regularly schedule days. Continually I resolve to do better at this, but I have yet to follow through very consistently. I suppose the summer has brought a little improvement, but I obviously need to really focus on spending that time reading to my sweet boy.

With my first two children, I tirelessly named things: animals, colors, objects, body parts. But these days, I just forget, far too often. I suppose I'm a bit preoccupied lately. That's not a great excuse, but there it is. It's an explanation, anyway.

I adore this child. As an infant he was a balm to me, and aside from his immense tendency to spit up and his resistance to napping away from his bed, I no complaints about his babyhood - not one. We have a great bond, regardless of my neglect to verbalize the minutiae of the daily routine.

And I suppose I hope that the process of family life, and living with two big brothers, will fill in the gaps of what I've left unsaid and undone.

All the same, I'd better get on it and start teaching this boy to dress himself. Because in about 6 month I'm going to suddenly get a lot more busy!

What about you? How has your parenting changed (for better or for worse) as your family has grown?

those people

There are those people
people who play an important role in your life
and then one day, are absent from it
and you wonder what happened
how they are, what their lives look like now

There are those people
people with whom you stay close
year after year
helping, encouraging, maintaining
watching lives unfold, blossom, strive

There are those people
people who are with you for a season
sometimes casually, sometimes vitally
yet each important, impacting
in their own way

There are those people
people who surprise you
with how vicious they can be
when you speak something they don't want to hear
hurting, striking, wounding

There are those people
people who surprise you
with how giving they can be
lending encouragement or cheer
at just the right time, unexpected

There are those people
people with whom you will never agree
differing personalities
differing views, differing choices
yet we may respect individuality

There are those people
people who receive what you have to give
with tender hearts
willing to hear what may not be eloquent
or eagerly heard

There are those people
people who play an important role in your life
stretching,
shaping,
teaching,
challenging,
encouraging.

just desserts

I have a problem.

When my children ask what is available for dessert, and the answer is "we don't have any dessert at the moment," I feel like a bad mommy. It's as though I've failed to meet some basic criteria for a happy childhood. What's that? The cookies are all gone, and we finished off the ice cream? Mo-ther!

Of course, they don't really sound like that. In fact, I have no doubt that the mommy guilt I suffer is far greater than any angst or disappointment they may feel in those moments. And truly, they don't seem to be suffering. They'll almost always shrug, then go on with their day.

The thing is, I rarely have to give that answer: I make sure of that. We usually have some kind of treat, be it cookies, ice cream, homemade Power Bars (one my absolute favorites!), or something else. The One Dessert Per Day rule which we instituted a few months ago has helped our supply hold out longer, I suppose. But still, I do try to stay on top of it. I like having something available. Not only for my kids, of course, but Jeff enjoys them, too. As do I, the sugar addict.

I do believe that Americans eat too many sweets for our own good. And even with natural sweeteners, I think moderation is best. But I can't seem to shake this need to have something available for my family. Even if we don't eat it...which usually, of course, we do.

(Actually, I have improved a little in that area. I now try to keep myself to a somewhat vague dessert-every-other-day-or-so rule. I do much better if I do that, both with general health and with my own mentality. But I do still love my sweets!)

I've thought of deliberately making fewer desserts. I would like my children to grow accustomed to not having treats of this kind on a daily basis. It would be healthy to not feel entitled to something sweet, to have it be more of a treat. I've heard of families who make dessert a special, once-a-week treat. But I'm not quite sure if we could handle that!

And my children do not see fruit as a dessert item. Perhaps it's because I serve them so much fruit as it is - fruit and dessert are not in the same category in their minds, at all.

So I suppose we're a work in progress. Maybe one of these days I'll be able to let go of my mommy guilt, and truly realize that my children will survive if they don't have a sweet treat available to them every single. Maybe someday I'll take the plunge, and take a break from supplying my family with goodies.

But for now, I have No Bake Cookies in the fridge, and smoothie popsicles hardening in the freezer, and plans to make ice cream someday soon. After all, in the heat of summer one needs some creature comforts....

another hiccup

Against all odds, we seem to be hitting another snag in the journey to a new home. This one involves a ridiculously low appraisal. Our buyers will not be able to get financing to meet the price we agreed to, when the house was valued at such a price.

The current plan is an appeal. Our realtor was able to access the appraisal which was done in April (with our original attempted buyers), and this new appraiser has a week to reconsider his numbers. This will likely mean a renegotiation of the price of the home. We'll find out next week, I suppose.

Regardless, nothing will be closing on July 31st.

For some reason I had held back from making any more preparations to move, in spite of the fact that as far as I knew, we would be relocating in just over a week. Some would call that procrastination, but I'm thankful for it at the moment. It tempers the "roller coaster effect," at least a bit.

So for now we're back in more waiting. Thankful for the house we have to live in now, but hoping it will truly sell this time around. And praying that we won't lose another home with which we've fallen in love.

This is all incredibly frustrating. The process of attempting to sell our home has turned our entire summer upside down. Nay, most of the year. I'm just hoping that it will be worth it, in the end.

As Jeff and I keep reminding one another: The Big Picture. The Big Picture.

I'm just wondering if God's view of the big picture is the same as ours....we appreciate your prayers! Please continue to pray for us. Thank you, friends.

we may love food, but...

...we don't take ourselves too seriously!

really, you shouldn't have

Kyle: Mom, Ben put the monkey in my shirt!

Me: He put a monkey in your shirt?

Kyle: Yes.


Me: Wait, hold still. Let me get a picture of this.



Kyle: A picture of the monkey on my back?

Me: Yup.

"Not my child" Monday

Today? Is a special day. In a fun mix-up of our regularly scheduled "Not me!" Monday events, today is a "Not my child" Monday. You can find many more wonderful examples of some of the "Not me-ing" at My Charming Kids, which is MckMama's charming blog. So let's give it a whirl, shall we?

My 3-year-old (whom we lovingly describe as "irrepressible") did not leave his table-setting duties for a moment in order to dash into the room where his older brother was to announce "Ben! We're having raisin cookies at dinner!!!" There may have been some freshly-baked scones on the table, but Kyle would never abandon his job in a moment of excitement. Not my child!

Owen is an utterly charming 16-month-old. I've always referred to him as my "balm," so there is no way that he is starting to throw fits. Absolutely not! Even when he doesn't get his way, he does not flop himself onto the floor, look angsty for a moment, and then, if he doesn't receive a response, gingerly lower himself onto his back. He's certainly never resorted to rolling around the floor in a stunning display of toddler anguish. Definitely not...

My two older children did not join forces to produce and act out "Jungle Book" the other night after dinner. And if they had, there would not have been a clear Director, who repeatedly told me that it wasn't time for my line yet as Bagheera. They're not particularly fond of that movie at all, and they don't especially love acting like the monkeys. Uh UH! Not my boys!

What have your children not been doing?