Thursday, January 21, 2010

bottling it up

(Note: This is Jeff writing. I used to have my own blog, but I wasn't posting much. So I asked Mindy if I could join hers and post every once in a while. I'll never be as consistent or eloquent in my posting, but I'll pop in every once in awhile. Now on to the post.)

It's hard to let go of my kids. I know, I know! Ben's just barely 7, but I am already feeling the tug of giving up control of certain things. Realizing that there are things that he and I will never experience again. My boys will never be this age again. It makes me wish I could bottle those things up, stop time in those sweet moments. But at the same time I don't want to miss all the new joys. If I'd have frozen time in 2003, I wouldn't have gotten to see Ben be a big brother, or if I'd frozen it in 2006, I wouldn't have seen Kyle grow into such a giving boy.

Ben has grown into such a mix of little boy and young man. Watching him at dinner the other night, I saw a young man: passing things, eating all that was served with very little or no complaint, asking politely for more, serving himself deftly and without making a mess (even the honey!)

It feels like just yesterday that we spent a night at the birth center with him trying on the names Mama and Daddy for the first time. He is such a great big brother for Kyle and Owen and I can't wait to see how he grows as a big brother to this new baby. Maybe he'll start changing diapers! ;)

Kyle is all boy and all passion. And he's got a heart big enough to match. Kyle runs at full speed from morning until night and has the bruises and scars to prove it. He's a voracious reader (for a 4 year old) reading everything he can from labels to street signs. He wants to be just like his big brother Ben and he has no lack of energy to run and play with Owen. It's very sweet.

And he loves to share. He gives so much of his stuff away to his mom and I or his brothers. And he's very excited about the new baby. I can't wait to see how he'll love on this little one with his huge heart.

Owen is an adventurer on par with Ferdinand Magellan or Christopher Columbus. A scientist in the vein of Pierre Curie or Isaac Newton. Ok, maybe I'm overstating, but his world is growing by leaps and bounds lately. He washes his hands (looks like playing with soap to us, but you can see his intent.) He wants to tell us all about things in words that are more intelligible every day. He is very diligent about making sure everyone has their stuff. If you set something down, he's quick to grab it and hand it to you and say "Ee Go!" (Here you go!)

He has no idea what's coming as far as the baby goes, but he sure knows what he wants. He's the first one in his chair most nights at dinner, he lets his older brothers know when he wants to play with what they're using... He's been patient long enough! He's taking our world by storm.

And what will this new baby be like? Only God knows. Little Bit has been very entertaining lately with morphing Mama's belly. Seems very assertive that he/she doesn't like it when you push or poke a particular way. Will Little Bit be as loud when they're born as our first 3? Will he/she sleep well like Ben? Eat well like Kyle? I'm so excited to meet this little one.

We've all heard it said: "This too shall pass." Most often as an encouragement in a dark time, but I think as parents it should be a continual reminder. When you're changing a diaper while you fight back the nausea from the stench, don't forget that "This too shall pass." And when your buried under a dogpile of 3 squealing boys during wrestle-time, don't for that "This too shall pass."

I've been reminded lately from various places that I need to focus on being present in the moment. Not to worry about the future or fret about what is past, but just enjoy the moment. Whatever that may be. That's how I can capture those memories in a bottle.

Don't forget... This too shall pass


Mama said...

Glad you popped in. I enjoyed reading your thoughts. Tugged on my emotions a little bit. I (we) thought it was great.

Sarah, Nathen, Aiden, and Evan said...

Beautifully put, its hard not to look towards the future but we also need to enjoy every present moment w/ our little one. Thank you for the reminder.