"Who are you pretending to be?"
I get this question a lot. Not because I am inauthentic, but because my boys like to pretend. This week they've "been" Luke Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, R2-D2, and so on. The current rage is "Star Wars," but they cover quite a bit of characters, believe you me.
"Mom, who are you pretending to be?" He shoots this question at me as I'm working to prepare our family's dinner.
"Are you pretending to be Princess Leia?"
"Yeah, that's it. I'm pretending to be Leia. However did you guess?" Must've been the chef knife and the chopped carrots that gave me away.
Some nights, I don't feel like playing along. During the busiest part of my day, I tend to be super-focused on the task at hand. I don't want to "be" anyone, I just want to be Mama-in-the-Kitchen. Mama-chopping-carrots. Mama-with-the-knife.
Or maybe not the last one.
I've been reading lately about behavior types. You know, the DISC assessment. Or the four temperaments: choleric, sanguine, phlegmatic, and melancholy. Fast-paced versus slow-paced, task-oriented versus people-oriented. I've read this particular book before, but this time I'm finding it so enlightening. I'm learning about my husband, my children, and myself.
I'll spare you the run down (though I will say that we have one absolute, no-doubt-about it, "I"/sanguine in our family....any guesses as to who that might be?). My point is that I, personally, tend to be very task-oriented (my love affair with productivity!) and yet am very cautious, wanting to do things just right (please don't quote me on this the next time you note the lack of dusting in my house).
And while that's who God made me to be, I need to be aware the ways the strengths, when taken to an extreme, become detrimental. I am resolving to lay down my work, and play make-believe more often. To sacrifice my longing for order a little, in understanding that my child does not share my drive...and to value the wonderful ways he is different from myself.
I'm ready to pretend.
I know it won't be easy. And I do still value order, work, and productivity. But my brood won't be little forever. So sometimes, I'm deciding to pretend I don't care that the laundry isn't put away. That I'm not three (four?) steps ahead in the kitchen. I'm going to play make-believe.
But don't expect me to look like Leia. We'll all just have to use our imaginations...