Tuesday, March 5, 2013

groundhog day

I'm in one of those seasons where it feels a little as though I'm living in the movie "Groundhog Day."  You know, the one with Bill Murray, where he has to relive the same day over and over and over?   Or maybe a better way to describe it is as being on a hamster wheel.  Making the same concerted effort with very little to show for it.

See, it's actually not that every day is the same.  I do have some variation, and for the most part I'm happy with our routine.  The part that feels "samey" is easily one of the most frustrating aspects of my life.  Organizing a major playroom overhaul, only to find the space in complete disarray three or four days later.  Tidying the downstairs in the afternoon - and it's trashed again before dinner.   Mopping the floor and enjoying the beautiful sheen...for about 90 minutes.  And don't even get me started about the laundry.

And then there are the things I find myself saying over and over again.  "Inside voices, please."  "We don't run in the kitchen!" "His feelings were hurt; please go make things right with your brother." "Sweetheart, you forgot to [sweep, empty the litterbox, put away your books, etc.]."

Are my efforts making any difference?  Do my words fall on deaf ears?  Or am I wasting my energy as well as my breath?  Because there are times, like this moment, when it seems that I'm doing the same thing day after day, week after week, month after month, with very little so show for it.  Sometimes I wonder if I'm invisible.

But I'm clinging to the hope that it does matter.  That some day my children will become responsible, mature, compassionate adults.  I'm choosing to believe that as I commit my work to the Lord, it will eventually, beautifully bear fruit.

Here's hoping.  And here's to showing up day after day.  I pray that the sacrifices made during this time will make a difference in the lives and hearts of my family members, and will "stand as a monument to an even greater God."
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.  ~Galatians 6:9

1 comment:

steve and corrine said...

Mindy, your service and example is already a monument to God. Corrine and I daily give thanks for the fact that you are our daughter-in-law and the mother of our grandchildren. Keep up the great work! We trust that it will indeed bear fruit in due time.