"Not me!" Monday

Another Monday, another chance to bare my soul in MckMama's fun and cathartic blog carnival. Please check out her blog at My Charming Kids. She's magnificent, and so much fun.

Yesterday morning while getting the family ready for church, I did not discover that my older son had inadvertently doused the baby with maple syrup. Real maple syrup, which is a lot more runny than the high fructose corn syrup stuff. And I did not thank my lucky stars that I had left Owen's pants off-- because bare leg cleans up a whole lot easier than khakis when you're in a pinch. And then I was not aghast to realize that it wasn't only Owen's leg that was sticky...it was the entire left side of his head. Consequently, Jeff and I did not proceed to laugh our butts off.

I am certainly not limping my way through a two-hour movie in 10- and 20-minute increments. Because what mother with a baby (not to mention two older kids) has the memory available to remember the plotline twists from one viewing to the next? That's just crazy-making.

While watching the Christian Youth Theater's stage production of "Narnia" over the weekend, I did not observe the difference in voices between a 13-year-old boy and a 14-year-old boy, and begin to cry at the thought of my own sweet boys' voices changing some day. Because I am still in complete denial that they will one day sound like big men when they speak. It is never going to happen. Period.

And while driving to church on Sunday morning, I did not finally make a meager attempt to wipe that spit-up stain off of my good peacoat. Because it's been...what? Nearly two weeks since Owen nailed me? I mean, that's just gross. So that couldn't have been me. And my coat doesn't smell like spoiled milk, either.

Nope, not me!